Sexless? Go on... laugh at yourself

The cat suddenly becomes the *****cat. Just so you can say the word. Likewise, wearing a Hello Kitty armband counts! (well, depends where you put it). The cat sitting on my husband's lap. Oh, the hilarious comments that evokes. Only ***** he is getting. The clothing line for men called ****ies. Seriously? The pants have reinforced knees and a bright little name label. OH, the funny irony. Rub my fingers over the label. I'm touching it. Ooooh. Bob. All men named Robert will be called Rob. Richard. No one shall be called ****. Shopping for vegetables at the store. Plan this out carefully! It's more erotic than you think it is! Think ahead. Wear your most un-sexy clothing. That way when you find yourself stroking the melons and vegetables.... no one will really notice your fingers lingering. Your just being picky. And it really is WARM in the store, you are not getting warm! Batteries. Buy them from different stores, in small quantities. And rotate days. Yes, the clerks DO know what they are for. Make sure you get lots of sun. A slight constant sunburn helps to hide the blushing and flushing when a stranger accidentally brushes your elbow in the elevator.

Put the internet to work for you. via Personal Recipe 2629979