| Hi All, Firstly some Facts:
Basically Ive been miserable since the day I got here, its a dangerous but beautiful country, Ill admit that... But I just dont feel right here. My relationship with my boyfriend (marriage is not for me) has been very blehhhh for the last few years. My gut is telling me its close to over but then I have days where I dont think it is, and maybe its just how things are... Then recently Ive become relatively worse with my anxiety/depression and although I know I can be hard to live with, he makes and has made no effort whatsoever to cheer me up or make my life here with him a little more fun, not even slightly! We do NOTHING together, even after my attempts to go dancing or go for dinner, simple shit like that... He just shrugs it off, he's tired, we dont have the money for it etc etc blah blah blah:mad: But when hes with his friends its all smiles and laughs.. See??? that hurts me... Like im not worth the effort but they get all his f*ckin attention.. Basically in a nut shell, IM BORED OUT OF MY MIND. I just wanna meet someone fun and have someone love me enough to wanna make me happy.. I wouldnt mind, my boyfriend is extremely handsome and fit, but that doesnt even matter anymore. Ive gone passed that.. I dont know what to do anymore. I cant just run home coz we have a child together, and things will just be so f*cked up if I do that... But Im so unhappy and over our relationship... So sorry to bombard you guys with all that chat, but I dont know what else to do... I wanna RUN. I have panic attacks I wanna run away that bad but I dont... I deal with it!! I have wrinkles and bags under my eyes from crying so much about it... and I feel like im wasting my 20's away sittin on a couch watching shit tv every night... Looking across at him with this horrible feeling in my gut that we're wasting time, day by day, night by night just wasting time with one another!! What would you do????[/font] | |||
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