Needing Advice

I have been married 23 years. For the first few years our relationship was very good. Then my husband became angry and verbally rude/abusive. He lost interest in sex. We have not had sex AT ALL for eleven years. We sleep in the same bed. He turns over and wants nothing to do with me, intimacy, passion, communication, or sex. I have asked him so many times over the years what is wrong, let's go on date night, let's connect again. He would just get angry and say no, or give me excuses. I would tell him that our marriage is in trouble. Let's do something. He would roll his eyes as if to say, "what do you want now". Recently he was diagnosed with depression. He says he is ready to work on our marriage. Because he has ignored my needs for so many years, I am tired, sad, and I care about him but don't feel love for him. I have ached for fourteen years for human touch, cuddling, and passion. In this time we have been raising a daughter, who is a young teen now. We don't fight much. We have gotten to the point that we are roommates. My plan was to wait until my daughter graduated from high school, go back to school/training, and be on my own at that time. My daughter has been in trouble at school so I went from full time work, part time, then to staying home and working with her on homework. I now regret leaving my job because I am dependent financially on my husband. After fourteen years of dealing with husband being rude and giving me excuses about being intimate, I had never gone outside of my marriage for anything. After asking for things like sex and working on fixer upper house projects together and getting shot down, I stopped asking. I focused on our daughter. I feel like I lost my voice. A year ago I went to my high school reunion and met a man I knew in high school. We hit it off and have become close. He loves me and I love him. He lives in another state and we don't see each other as often as we would like. We ache for each others company and simple touch. We have cuddled, touch, but have not had sex yet. I am in my mid fifties and have come to realize that life is NOW. Not in three years when my daughter graduates. I want a balance. Is that possible? I want to tell my husband everything and not sneak around. I want to be honest. My problem is that the man I love lives a thousand miles away, I have a daughter with three more ye ars of high school, and I am not working and cannot move out yet. Husband says I should not start working because our daughter needs me around. I cannot move to be with him yet. He lives in a wonderful small town that would be a good place for a teenager who has been in some trouble, but she has her friends and would not agree to it. I feel so stuck. I want to be able to see this man freely and not wait for three years to do so. I want to raise my daughter and also be happy in a loving relationship. I want a balance.

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