| DD is 15 days ago and I am very raw with anger and hate. I am 50 and H is 61. Been married 12 years and lived in Middle East till 3 years ago, when we bought our home in U.S. We are also a mixed marriage and this is the first time I am living in the U.S. Me and my son stayed behind while H continues his work in ME. The plan was that he will join us for good in 6 mos. time, but due to financial considerations it got extended & extended and this coming fall, H is retiring for good. H comes home 3-4 times in a year for 3 weeks to 45days, we skype & chat 2x a day and thought we are managing well with our present life, waiting to be together again as family. May 21st, DD morning, I asked my boy if he talked to his dad and he said "no ", so for me just concerned about his whereabouts, since he is alone there and not common that he will not get connected with us in usual times. Checked for emails and messages from H, but none, decided to call and opened his Skype account(which we use for tel. calls) And there, I discovered their latest 4 conversations, that he failed to delete! I called him on the landline, and when he answered he immediately said that he couldn't connect coz the internet was down. Oh, really or you are just busy with your "baby"? H was surprised and was denying but I couldn't talk any more and just slammed the phone on his face. He tried to call back several times, begging for me to answer the tel. and that we could talk. I was reading through their conversations and called MIL if they have talked recently as they also chat regularly, we agreed that everybody have been busy these days and I told her to call him to ask if because of his baby. She was shocked and when she called back, H was still denying. I told her I just sent an email of their conversation so he can open his email when internet is back. From then on, we talked by messages and emails. H slowly spilled the beans after my probing, he said, it was a just a game and mistake and was over before I found out. He was just lonely and grabbed the sweet corn that was thrown on his face. He just took a small bite and that there was no sex. They met only 2x for less than an hour in our old house. They kissed and touched over clothes. H said he was feeling nervous as the baby was starting to talk about marriage, that on their last conversation (day before I found out) was not really good as he made it clear to her that would not happen. H expect me to believe any of these??? What I believe from what I read in their conversations (from the only ones I saw) is that they have EA & sexting in the last 3 mos. and H was pursuing her aggressively and plans more meetings. When he was back home for his last trip last Mar/Apr, he continued to message her in our own home/computers under our noses. He said first time they met was 2 weeks before his Mar/Apr trip. He is begging and pleading to give him a chance and that he will pay for it the rest of his life, that it is only me and our son that he wants, that it was a lapse of judgement on his part the last 3 months. During our talks & in my state of anger, he can get angry/frustrated that I can just give up our marriage for his huge & one mistake. He has betrayed the very foundation of our marriage/family - trust, respect, loyalty & commitment despite me & my son reminding him 2x a day when we talk! He stopped replying to my last email/message last May 30th, but continued the routine to skype with our son. He is due for a trip back here in 3 days and I don't know what to do when I see him face to face. I told him on one of our conversations, not to expect me to pick him up from the airport & to book himself in the hotel. Yesterday, I just saw in his email that he arranged for car rental on his arrival & stay. I have seen a lawyer to know my rights as I am still an alien in this country and also on IC. Please help with advices. Thanks for reading. | |||
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