| Apologies for the essay - I can promise it's an interesting story - but this guy is just being a total nuisance. I don't even speak to him any more, and maybe he just still wants to be friends, but I don't like player types who think they can just toy with girls' feelings, and that's what it seems like he is. But because we have so many mutual friends, some of whom I've known since my first year at university and don't wish to offend, I can't just tell him to get lost. I'm in my third year at uni. Way back during first year in halls, I really fancied one of my hallmates. I didn't know him very well - we didn't hang out in the same friend groups - but I used to find him really attractive and he could be quite nice (and often flirty in a jokey kind of way) whenever we did talk. He also seemed like a bit of a player, though - he was once really touchy-feely with one of my close friends in front of me and used to ask my other female friends (in my earshot) which celebrities they found "fit" and had "girl crushes" on. One of my other friends told me he didn't get on with his ex, because he'd told her he was jealous of one of her male friends who was dating a model. He seemed a bit hot and cold, and TBH dickish sometimes, but I asked him to stay in contact over the summer holidays and he agreed in a flirty kind of way, but then when I sent him a message during the summer he gave a really brief response so I forgot about him till I saw him again in second year. In second year, because we all moved into houses and it wasn't so easy to keep in contact with everyone I only saw him every couple of weeks on a night out or something, and didn't always speak to him. Again, he was hot and cold but flirty some of the time - he'd keep staring at me and then glance away whenever I saw him, or come up to me for no reason (considering we weren't particularly close) and put his arm around my waist and chat for a bit and then walk off to talk to his friends. Even my friends were like "maybe he does fancy you?" I found his behaviour really confusing. One of my friends had a house party at the end of second year, and I was one of the last to leave as it was the last time I'd see a lot of people again before the summer. I was getting a drink in the kitchen where he and a few other guys were, and he suddenly started going on about this girl in the room next to us, like "Is that the blonde girl I got off with in first year?" and him and the other guys started joking about it. I was kind of upset so left the room, but TBH I still had feelings for him so ended up telling him I liked him later. He said that he'd gathered that but he was seeing a girl at home, and then I obviously apologised because I hadn't known and he said it was fine. I had an amazing summer and third year - I got a lot more involved in uni stuff, became, for lack of a better term, more "popular", got over him really quickly and didn't want to think about him again, so deleted him off Facebook. I've only seen him a few times this year, and every time I have I've tried to ignore him, partly because stuff might still be awkward between us and partly because I thought it was kind of mean of him to flirt with me when he knew he had someone back home, though obviously I didn't expect him to not turn me down when he had a girlfriend. I don't want anything to do with him any more, but every time I've seen him he's seemed a bit too keen. A mutual friend had a birthday party last term, and we were both there; I tried to stay away from him and not talk to him, but he kept staring and smiling at me, though I just avoided eye contact. I walked past him in the Students' Union bar a few weeks ago (I was on my own and going to meet a group of friends) dressed up for a night out and passed him sitting with his mates - I didn't even notice him till he smiled at me, but I ignored him and walked on by, though I noticed him looking at me for ages out of the corner of my eye. I was on a night out with some friends last night when I bumped into one of his housemates (whom I get on quite well with) and obviously said hi and caught up. I noticed the housemate with him in the club later, but didn't go and say hello to him as per usual. At the end of the night, however, me and my friends were in the middle of the dance floor and I noticed this guy staring at me from where he and his mates were (which was about 20 metres away). I tried to ignore him as much as I could but it was really obvious and went on for about 15 minutes, and the couple of times when he spotted me noticing him doing it he jumped and looked away quickly. He wasn't even facing in my direction, just looking that way. It was really, really annoying as I was trying to enjoy my night and have fun with my friends and dance and stuff, but I felt self-conscious because this guy couldn't keep his eyes off me. I was smiling and joking around with a friend for a bit, and then looked up to check he wasn't staring at me again, and noticed him looking straight at me with a smirk on his face, upon which he immediately turned away and pretended to be doing something else. When we left the club a bit later, we all stood around waiting for taxis, and again I noticed him and his friends standing close by and he kept looking at me and trying to catch my eye. He walked straight past me as he was going home but I didn't acknowledge him, and then I noticed him glancing back at me over his shoulder and smiling. I know he's probably just being nice but he used to be quite a "player" and I don't think this has changed, and I find it quite irritating that he's bothering me so much when I clearly don't want to be friends - I found the way he acted quite disrespectful, considering he had a girlfriend. I've really grown up since first year, too, and the person I am now doesn't want to be friends with a guy like this. Apparently he's graduating this year but is probably doing a Masters next year, so I'll have to see him around uni some more. How should I deal with him and get him to just leave me alone to move on with my life? Loads of our mutual friends are returning from years abroad next year too, so I'll have to see him around a lot at parties and stuff. Thanks for reading if you've gotten this far - advice on how to shoo him off? :) | |||
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