I fell in love with the wrong man...again

I'm 36 years old. I'm divorced. Yeah, my marriage failed. My husband was having repeated multiple affairs. I was in love with him though. I was married to him for 14 years. I fought like hell for my marriage. It mattered to me. I wanted to have a family for my children. I wanted to have my life mate. I meant the vows I said. I was determined to make my marriage work, but it failed. I filed for divorce and our marriage ended two years ago. Looking back and being able to reflect on things today I know he was the wrong one for me. Years of mental abuse have taken a hard toll on me. I still don't know if I'm good enough. I still don't know what worth I have, if I even have any. Today, I am no longer in love with my ex husband. I'm in love with someone else now. And I know he's the wrong one for me. I sit here and I shake my head at myself as to how I could be so stupid to fall in love again. WTH. Yet, I sit here with such a strong, strong desire for the man, I can't bring myself to just walk away although I know that is what I should do. He has no respect for me. He has no concern for me. I'm not important to him at all. But I hold on for some reason. Not sure why I hold on. I'm capable of living without him. I have a good job. I take care of my own. I seem to have this desperate desire to have a man love me. I'm not a promiscuous woman. I don't sleep around with men for that momentarily feeling of love. I was faithful to my husband for our 14 year marriage. I casually dated two men in the first year after our divorce. Now, I've been with this one for the past 7 months. I know I can't make any man love me. He's gotta do that on his own because he values me. I'm really quiet. I'm not the *****y naggy type. I'm quiet because I hate confrontation. Which also means I have a tendency to not tell him how I am feeling. I keep it all in. I'm afraid to tell him I'm thinking of leaving him. I need to just do it though. I'm writing this post almost as a way of talking myself into it. I don't know what to do.

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