| my ex-boyfriend and were together for 1 year and 7 months. He was the one who left me because of our first and last fight ever. We had a misunderstanding that went down hill quickly. The fight happened 11 days before our 19th month anniversary. 2 days after our 19th month anniversary he broke up with me. The weird thing is, even if he broke it off, he asked for space and time to find himself. He asked if I could wait for him for a year. Of course, I said, YES, because I loved him. It was painful but I respected his wishes to not talk during those months that he's having his space and time to find himself. We didn't talk for 3 months. During those months, I was also trying to get over the break up and the pain. After 3 months, he started contacting me again because I had a few problems and he offered to help me. At first, I was hesitating to reply since I wasn't ready and I still felt the pain from the break up and for the fact that he left me beca use of a silly argument that gone wrong but since I know he's the only one who could help me with my problems that time, I had no choice but to reply. When we started talking to each other again, I thought we were okay. NOT together as a couple, I mean. Just civil. Weeks passed, I really got confused on what he wanted from me and what his intentions are really. Before I asked him about whatever we had during that time, I said my SORRY piece. He replied that he doesn't know how to react but it's our past and that we just have to focus on the future and he's happy that we remained friends. I was shocked because we never did talk about being friends during those weeks that we were talking. Because I thought he was just helping me with some school problems that I was having. In short, we had another misunderstanding. I was just trying to be civil, I wasn't showing any signs that I wanted to be friends. I never assumed nor thought that we'd be automatically friends just because I accepted his offer to help. So I asked him directly if we are really friends. He said YES. I asked again, are we JUST FRIENDS, he replied, YES. I asked if there's still a possibility to fix what we had, he replied, NO. So I assumed that what the promise we made before the "waiting" thing is void, AGAIN, he said YES. I was so hurt with his response. Because I just realized I waited for him for nothing. I was waiting in vain for 3 months and the only thing he could offer was friendship which I didn't even know at first. I would've looked more stupid if I didn't ask him directly. Now, my problem is, I rejected his offer to be friends before because, technically it wasn't the right time. I was hurting still esp. because I expected we would be able to fix things. I even asked him if it's ok because now it's my turn to have my time and space to think. And he said it was OK. I thought it was, but, it seems to me it wasn't. Because when I rejected his friendship, he even said maybe it'd be better if he'd be the one to start not talking to me and he suggested that I unfriend him in facebook and he even told me to delete his files from my external HD if it'll ease the pain. Which for me is kind of weird. I know he got hurt because I rejected his friendship but I was also hurting. It was not my intention to hurt him. I just needed space and time to get over everything, the pain that I felt before and the pain I felt when he said we're JUST FRIENDS. Now, I'm feeling much better and I have come to accept that we cannot be a couple anymore but I hope that we could be friends. But how, if he's the one who's ignoring me and hiding from me now. Is it still worth it if I pushed to be friends with him or should I let him be? |
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