He gave me high-risk HPV, now I don't wanna have sex!

Has anyone been through something like this? I know HPV is very common (like 80% of population gets it at some point in their lives by age 50), and the high-risk type doesn't produce yucky warts, but cervical dysplasia in women instead, which means painful colposcopies or worse procedures to remove the bad pre-cancerous cells. Well, we've been together almost 2 years and have been living together happily for the last 7 months. I'm in my early 40's and when we met, I'd never had an abnormal pap in my life. When we started dating, we both got tested for STD's and showed each other our results which were all negative; then a few months after we started having unprotected sex, I went in for my annual pap exam and the results came back abnormal with HPV and low-grade cervical dysplasia which is caused by contracting what they call high-risk HPV from sexual skin to skin contact. I got a colposcopy done which scrapes the bad pre-cancerous cells off the cervix and then started taking certain recommended vitamins in hopes that my body would fight the HPV off on it's own over the next year, and I just let it go up to the Universe. This was all around this time last year. Now here's the kicker, there is NO high-risk HPV TEST for men!! WTF?? The only way a man can tell if he has this is by giving it to his unwitting female partner who then shows the HPV on her pap test!! So last year, my man realized that he's the link to my high-risk HPV, or a carrier if you will, since his past two serious relationship partners also had abnormal HPV paps after having unprotected sex with him & one of them even had to have that scary LEEP procedure done to her cervix (Loop electrosurgical excision (LEEP) -- During a LEEP, a thin loop wire excises visible patches of abnormal cervical tissue. LEEP is performed with local anesthesia and has a 90% cure rate). This scared me alot, but I stayed hopeful that my body could fight this off and we went on with our couplehood, moved in together, and things have been going well for us. Then two weeks ago I had my annual pap, hopeful that the results would be normal now, but to my total disappointment & horror, they weren't. I still have HPV and low-level cervical dysplasia and DO NOT want to go through the awful colposcopy yet again, or worse! I am so upset, feel tainted and gross since this thing just won't go away! I don't feel sexy at all and deep down am mad at him for doing this to me. He feels awful about it as well which helps, but...I'm the one who has to go through the pain and inconvenience of getting my cervix scraped and being scared of it progressing into cervical cancer eventually! Now I have a bit of a wall up with him, am more quiet than usual, and have avoided having sex all this week. I just don't know how to cope with this! He keeps telling me to let it out and talk about it with him, but I just can't because I know that the feelings churning inside me will just make him feel worse because HE CAUSED THIS! :( Any advice on how to deal and get past this hump would be greatly appreciated!!

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