Dilema - to invite or not to invite (to our wedding)

There is one person who we both mutually did not want at our wedding. My fiance's uncle (who is an alcoholic) has recently been to jail this year for his drinking etc etc. My fiance's mother recently asked me if we had invited him and I said no, the reason we are not wanting to invite him is because he caused a scene at my fiance's brother's wedding when he first got into his drinking and created a very terrible memory for them and their wedding day. I do not want this, i dont want him doing the same thing at our wedding. It woud be different if he had improved over the few years since the scene and his drunk charges etc but he hasnt stopped if anything it may have gotten worse, drinking at work, drinking and driving.. I am just 100% against that!! At first my fiance was on board as it was his idea, but now his mother has talked to him and all of a sudden (no balls) he thinks we should invite him because of his grandmother, she wants him there or wants us to invite him. I just am not on the same boat with these people. They think that he might not show up, well MIGHT not show up is not something I wish to risk. If he does show up do I have the right to tell the bar tender to not serve to him? I dont even think I can do that. We have invited certain people from my wedding who we have been having troubles with (they havent spoken to us in about 6 months) and we know they wont show but we sent invites because the whole family does not know exactly what is going on or what happened to cause this - whole other story there.. Anyway, if we invite him and if he shows up the moment I see him I will be upset, I will not be able to enjoy the rest of my night because I will have to worry about what he may do or say when he is there and how much he will drink and if he shows up drunk already. My fiance's grandmother is the sweetest and of course no matter how much trouble the drunk uncle gets into she is always there to support him and help and love him, but one MY one special day I do not want anyone to destroy it like he already previously did to someone else. I do not want to have to live with that kind of memory for the rest of my life. Thoughts, questions etc? My point.. I dont want him there, but now I have to either stand up and tell my fiance and his whole family NO and make myself look like the bad guy (he already married a witch once and they hated her i dont want them hating me too only because I wanted to have My day the way I want). Or we invite him and take the chance that he does show up, then what have someone babysit him all night so I can have a good time??

Put the internet to work for you. via Personal Recipe 2629979