| So I'm a female and I have more guy friends than girl friends. When I'm really good friends with someone I tend to hug them a lot (especially when I'm stressed about something), and I can tell that it's not normal as I hug guy friends excessively, and I do it especially when I get the feeling they are attracted to me as a girl. They can tell I do it to everyone but it's wrong because it can easily be seen as leading them on. I'm not justifying myself but here is my problem: I appear as having lots of friends but I'm mentally antisocial. I think it roots back to bullying in school but I tend to assume that people don't like me/don't find me interesting. I have people I talk to but I don't bond with them much because at the back of my mind I assume they don't have any interest in me and so I don't appreciate them as much as I should. Then there was a sudden point in my life where a lot of guys started to fancy me and I found that strangely comfortable so I've had a few boyfriends for the past 2 years without thinking about it much. (I liked being with them and I think I was a good caring girlfriend, but I was never in love with any of them, and when I do fancy a guy, as soon as they start to like me I quickly lose interest in them because the fact that they fancy me makes them uncool to me - again a self-esteem problem). I have people I can joke with & share things with but at the back of my mind I'm still quite reserved and pessimistic. So I don't feel entirely comfortable just by chilling/talking to friends so I think I just resort to having physical contact with guys who fancy me (hugging and resting on their shoulders) because I don't have to fear them disliking me. I have to be more perceptive and selfless and I need to set boundaries but I don't know how to get rid of my pessimism and start loving my friends more as true friends, stop having to get guys to be attracted to me rather than like me as a person... | |||
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