| Hi all, it's been a few months since I've been on the board. Quick background - married and H and I have a DD together. H confessed to having an emotional and slightly physical (no sex) affair with a close friend of mine. Separated briefly but now we're back together. Now some things are not adding up. Sorry if this is lenghty, i'll try not to make it too confusing. First off, when we were separated he had his own place, but as we were working things thru, he started staying at our apartment more often. I tried to convince him to give up his place because it was unnecessary money going towards rent but he didn't want to mess up his credit (his credit is already messed up, and he has since messed up mine. different story tho). One morning in March he gave me roses... big surprise there. Seems for no reason. Then later i found out he was moving out of his place and into mine... at that moment . He brought clothes and bags in and then said he was going to get a truck to move his other stuff. Trying to be a good wife, i decided to put the stuff he brought already away. As i was going thru a bag i saw a receipt for a michael kors handbag... dated last April. Well i don't have any michael kors so it wasn't for me . Then i saw a pregnancy box and the receipt for it dated oct 2012. Not mine. Wasn't bought for me. Then i saw papers from a woma ns clinic talking about post abortion procedures. And a receipt dated oct 2012. The patients name is someone i kno but haven't talked to in over a year. I felt so sick to my stomach. I wanted to give hum the benefit of the doubt, but I'm not stupid. My gut feeling a few months ago was telling me that something wasn't right. I left the test and papers on the sofa so when he got home he can see it. Give him a chance to explain. A couple of days passed and I finally asked my husband about everything because clearly he wasn't going to mention it. He even moved the bag of evidence. I'm guessing he threw it away. He said that he saw the items on the sofa but it wasn't a big deal to him so he didn't say anything. Huh? yea... exactly . We talked, and despite some crying on my part, I remained pretty calm. Some things that he said didn't make sense and I caught 2 lies in his statement. I chose not to call him out on. I feel that in due time he will get himself caught up. But he cla imed he got the test from a coworker b/c he wanted to see how it worked and they were trying to get pregnant and are now pregnant. Then when I ask about the abortion papers he said he really needs for me to believe him. Him and the girl's name on the paper are just friends. Nothing more. He doesn't look at her that way and they talk on the phone. She was hooking up with her H whom she's separated from and got pregnant, didn't want the baby and had an abortion. Then called him up and asked to meet to talk. He told her he would throw the stuff away for her. I believe his story is BS. Even IF he didn't get her pregnant, there is more to what he's saying. It just doesn't make sense. And he sees nothing wrong with them being friends despite the fact he has already been unfaithful. So lately i've been having that feeling again that something is not right. So yesterday I looked at his bank statement from last month. VERY interesting. Besides the fact that he's been going out to eat a lot. He's clearly paying for more than just himself. Bill totals of $50, $80, over $100 each. And i'm not with him at these places. AND I saw 3 hotel visits on 3 different days, and they're local. And by local I mean they're in this county so there's no need to get a hotel. Trying soooo hard not to jump to conclusion and keep calm. I made photo copies of this statement so i could keep it for record and highlighted the questionable dates. I've also discovered he's def been lying to me. He's been working out of town some days (according to him). I can't verify if the hotel dates are the same as those dates b/c my phone only keeps a limited amount of messages, so those text messages from those dates are gone. But now I am keeping track from here on out. How I know he's lying no w is because on Monday night he texted me saying he just got back from out of town for work. And that he should have just stayed up there but he'll have to drive up there in the morning. That text was around 9pm. Well this morning I found a receipt for a restaurant right here in our county for Monday and it was at 6:30pm. So you mean to tell me you were here, then left to drive to out of town and then came right back???? Yea right. But keeping it for my records. Am I right to be suspicious?? Even if it's not the worst case scenario of a full blown physical affair, he's def hiding something. Oh and i should mention, he sleeps on the couch every night (his choice). He claims that he sleeps in a way that hurts his arm when he's in the bed. Never heard that before in the last 2 years that we've owned the bed. Occasionally he'll sleep in it, but it's very rare. SMH....all i can think is 'you lying POS!!!' | |||
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