Acceptance, Letting Go, and Moving On

Hi All - I'm starting a new thread over here, after a year in the "Going Through Separation and Divorce" section. My D will be final in the next few weeks, so my biggest mental hurdle now is embracing being "unmarried," adjusting to a new chapter without STBXH in it, and the remnants of greiving the lost love, intimacy and companionship. And I also struggle with living alone, as we did not have children. I would sure love any tips from those who've made it to the other side and feel "recovered" from your D. I do make efforts to get out and be social, but you can't avoid coming home and waking up to just the cats each day, and the house feels so quiet and empty sometimes -- I start missing my STBXH, and well... I obviously still have some healing to do. I've started putting on some beautiful classical music first thing in the morning to help fill the quietness and calm my nerves. Little things like that can help. I do the self care things -- exercise, massage, etc. and I am in IC. As for company, I have zero desire to jump into dating, and am told that's a mistake until you are further along in getting over your D. It can end up delying your healing, because you are not ready to intimately bond with someone else, even when the mutual intention is just for an exclusive realationship scenario (agreement that neither party is looking for a future marriage committment). I sure can't see myself ever getting re-married, but fellow TAMer Chucky insists that he could retire in Boca Raton if he has a nickle for everyone who has said that, but gone on to tie the knot again ;) I don't know -- I look around me and see many examples of women who are happily single. But for me, it is not what I wanted or envisioned for my life so I don't feel too thrilled about being unmarried. I do try to look at the upside of it -- the freedom, the flexibility, doing whatever the heck I want (no compromising). I hope eventually the "new normal" will feel happier and more comfortable. Sounds cliche, but I guess it just takes time (and therapy - LOL!). Is that really all there is to it, or are there other things I could be doing to help myself move on, focus on re-building and embracing the "new normal" and stop looking back? Best Regards, - A12 My old thread for reference: http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-t...ease-help.html

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