| So despite asking and telling and reminding of my needs outside of the bedroom to get ready for the bedroom... my husband again today says he wants some... so I grab the lube, lube him up and let him have his way, even in a postion in which unless really worked up I don't get off... he hurt me a little bit but I know he likes the position... I told him before hand, when he said do you have a few minutes, I said do you have more time than that (at that point in time knowing he really didn't) but he says what do you mean. I said time, like some time ahead of it, for me... he says sure, later. Okay I think and so I give in... I'm not wanting to deny him, but I feel like he is taking advantage. For instance, later I mention the kids (who are tired from a first day back at school from a long weekend) are going to bed early and he says, yeah, I gotta cuddle with your mom... before he leaves... but it was the way he said it, I don't even think he realized he came across in a mocking way (or if he was trying to be funny, or let me know bluntly he is going to make time for me) irregarless I definitely took it he will say the wrong way. Since my last post regarding this issue he gave me a massge one night.. that has been the gist of his romantic gestures. I just can't help but wonder if the years of not being on gthe same wavelength (him HD, my LD once a week to once every two weeks) or if it is just because he is a stay at home dad and as a friend said (just needs sex to feel manly)??? But I feel like it's so absolutely "just sex" at this point 8 times out of ten. If I want to get off, I have to do the work in my head, take the lead, etc. (Although he will try oral... he barely touches me with his hands down there, and although he is obsessed with my breasts after breast feeding two children it just doesn't turn me on like it did before I had kids- used to be my wild spot). I am so frustrated I don't know how many more ways to communicate that my needs are different than his sexually? Or is it just that the effort wears off in time? Anyone been in a similar situation when the drive evens out and one person still feels left out... and the worst for me, is like this afternoon I totally faked being into it, because if I'm not into it, he takes it personal, tells me it is pointless because he doesn't want what many of you on here call "pity sex" he called it something elseail before but my thing is what is the difference between that and asking for a quick blowjob. Never will my drive match his (he could go daily- I try to at least keep him satisfied, understand his need for release and actively participate so it is enjoyable for him).... Any other suggestions as to how to address this with him??? The last time, I wrote him an email so he could read it when he got home from a civic meeting... he read wrote back that yes, I have improved a lot and that he was lacking, and would try better... this was a week or so ago... Please note in your post if you have been through something similar and are offering advice based on experience or just offering advice, it will help me a lot. Thank you! | |||
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