| This should not be as hard as it is, but I feel it is time to seek marriage counseling, and just can't get the words out or create an opportunity to talk about it. I don't know who to call locally. Talking to our pastor about it I fear/know will start a vicious rumor mill. None of our friends or family would suspect we have serious marriage problems, and in reality 'we' don't have marriage problems - 'I' just have marriage problems. I am selfishly dissatisfied with my spouse, I am running out of self motivation to suck it up and make the best of my life with the good woman. But I have done precisely that so far - or at least distracted myself from my dissatisfaction with expensive and time consuming hobbies which she more-or-less faithfully tolerates as long as the bills are paid. How do you broach the subject, when life is just saturated with idle conversation, or she is specifically doing something nice for me (which directly or indirectly she almost always is)? Just lay it out there, as in "Sorry honey, could you please put down your trip planning book, I think we should make an appointment with a marriage counselor before we go on this dream vacation you're planning for me. See I just don't want to spend that much time or money with you, even, no, especially at a tropical beach, and I need a professional to help me fix that." It would just be beyond weird. Neither of us have cheated. We hardly ever argue. It's just me. Though I was, or at least thought I was really in love with her when we were married 11 years and 100 pounds ago. These days, I look forward to my time apart from her more than anything, and it certainly didn't used to be that way. To complicate things, we have a 4 year old who loves us both, and who I would gladly lay down my life f or. Anyway I digress. Is it sort of 'cheating' to contact a counselor without discussing it first? It just feels like its the first step in divorce proceedings or something. Help. | |||
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