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Recreational Companionship

OK, so this probably belongs in one of the other sections, but I though the topic could be more universally helpful.

My situation. I guess you could say my WS and I are in Plan A of the Marriage Builders (MB) approach. We are halfway through a 3 month [in-home] separation, and I'm still trying to "convince" her to leave the OM so we can work on R. Thanks to therapy and self help, I'm getting closer to accepting the reality of Plan B if we are still here in 6 weeks. I'm getting stronger and I will walk out if my needs aren't met. I'm working on me, reading NMMNG and a procrastination self help book to overcome my general fear of life. In addition I have a therapist I see weekly. I feel like I'm doing everything I can and while I don't want to leave, I may have no choice.

Anyway, with that out of the way, here is my question. I was reading some of the articles on MB today and ran into the list of emotional needs and I had questions regarding their Recreational Companionship concepts (see links). Some things really resonated with me, but I'm wondering if the concept is a little out there. Should people have some time to themselves or with friends?

Link 1, Link 2, Link 3

These days, my WS is spending a lot of time away from the house. Ignoring the time with the OM, she needs this to 1) deal with the daily stressors of being a SAHM (read: get away from the 3 kids), and 2) to feel fullfilled (my interpretation). I fully support have a GNO or going to Starbucks for some peace, but the MB site seems to indicate we should be doing these things together. Is this a bit radical? Maybe I'm too black and white?

One quote that really stuck out,
Quote:

"He does not take you with him when he wants to relax. As a result, you are no longer being associated with his most enjoyable moments. Instead, he is associating you with the responsibility that he is trying to escape. He may still be in love with you, but the way things are going, that love may be at risk. "
Similarly,
Quote:

"How incredibly shortsighted! It's leisure activities that got you together in the first place. Do you think you can spend your most enjoyable moments apart, yet still love each other? Don't you realize that you will love the person you have the best time with, whether it's at work or at play. If your best moments are not with your spouse, your marriage does not have much chance for survival. "
This really makes a lot of sense, but are we not allowed to have time out with friends? Should she not go to kickboxing? Should I not play softball? Again, I think maybe I'm just being too black and white. What do others think?

I really want to share this info with my WS, but I'm not sure I can defend the seemingly radical approach they are suggesting. Can you guys help me?




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