| So you've read the title - here's the story I'm 28, male, and I've been with my current girlfriend for 8 months. That may not sound like a long time to most of you but it is by FAR the longest relationship I have ever had. I've genuinely never met a girl like her before. She is the least selfish person I have ever known. She is madly in love with me and would do anything for me. She never gets stroppy or bossy... and she can do the manly things I cannot like change a car tyre! However, there is a big problem.. and it's sexual. As I've mentioned above, I've never really had a serious relationship before. I have no idea why. It's all I have ever wanted. I was a fat kid and didn't have my first girlfriend until I was 19. I was also obsessed with shows like Friends, The Office and now How I Met Your Mother - as well as any chick flick going - so as you can probably tell I live in a fantasy land where the girls are flawlessly beautiful and there is such a thing as happily ever after - manly, huh?! Anyway, where were we.. Once I lost the weight, I found it easier to get the girls. And I was obsessed with the hot ones. I based everything, absolutely everything on looks (because everyone is basically nice, really, right?). It wasn't until I found myself single at 27 and having only ever had two 3 month relationships that I realised something needed to change. I decided enough was enough. The next girl I meet.. I'm basing it ALL on personality. And that's when I met my current girlfriend. Having sex with her was initially a struggle because I was forcing the chemistry - I was so determined to see this personality thing through. After I while I found I could only ever get it up by going on top and kissing her neck so I wasn't looking at her face, eyes closed, and fantasising about some truly awesome sex I had with a couple of f*** buddies I once had. She doesn't know I do this. I genuinely can't remember if this is the first time I have done this however. I actually think I've done this before, with one-nighters and f*ck buddies etc. Not all the time though. I think it might just be a habit now. Anyway, I know she's not attractive. But I do really love her. These last months have been the happiest of my life. But I'm constantly thinking about other women when we're having sex, Constantly looking at other girls and get angry that my girlfriend doesn't look like that (God, it'd be so much easier if she was attractive) and I don't know if I should just confess all to her. I actually told her tonight everything apart from the Title. I kept that part back as I thought it'd be too damaging. She was understandably devastated. She is suggesting a 2 week break so I can really think about things In summary, I'm 28 and the best I can do is 8 months. I'm terrified of dying alone, and I know looks fade in the end. It's only skin deep.. But can I really go the rest of my life (if I stay with her) thinking about other women whilst having sex? | |||
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