Is Moving On Possible??

How do people do it? I mean, not from XH, I've long since moved on from him. I am terrified, blindingly horrified, of the idea of commitment right now- mainly the part that involves getting close to someone who could eventually hurt you (YES, I have so many issues from my marriage- thanks for noticing! :-) ) So I've been seeing the same guy (FWB type deal) for a couple of years now- since right before my divorce was finalized, well over a year after XH and I separated- he is the only person I have slept with since my divorce, met his family, gone out with consistently, spent weekends with, etc- but I am not the only girl that he entertains. I'm aware of this and it's not something that is hurtful to me as this is the arrangement that we have discussed and honed for a couple of years. He is discreet and safe with other women. I have recently begun dating on OKCupid, a couple of months ago- I have yet to go on a second date with anyone for various reasons (one was using drugs during the date, one followed me home, a couple were nice enough but there was zero attraction on my part, etc). I am considering going out with one guy again but my little dilemma is that I feel so safe with my guy I see now as our stipulations are laid out so cleanly that there is no way he can hurt me- we are both welcome to do what we want as long as its again, safe & discreet- I am just much pickier, maybe just because I'm a woman or because I have kids, about who I'm going to let into my life and into my bed. 1) I'm afraid to get involved with someone who might hurt me. Aren't we all? I know, I know- take chances, be selective, no risk no reward... 2) I don't think it would be fair for a new guy if I have a FWB on the side and I would absolutely break it off with him if I were going to even so much as sleep with anyone else- I'm a one-man girl! I know we'd remain friends because FWB started before I was married, stopped when I started dating XH, and resumed post-divorce. 3) Why does all this have to be so complicated? Does anyone else just want to scream/bang head against wall/relocate to another country at times?? I don't know what I'm asking here... I guess just to know I'm not alone in my confusion and inability to process my feelings since the big D.

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