| This is my second marriage, we have been married 6 years. My first ended in divorce because my ex-wife was a cheater / manipulator. I love my wife and what she does for our family daily. She handles the day to day crisis with my 17 yo daughter who lives with my ex and raises our 5 yo, household bills, cooking, etc. My wife, at the moment, is a stay-at-home mom and our 5 yo goes to pre-school 3x a week for 3 hrs each day. I know she is stressed from the single income and trying to make things work. She also attended school and is her families central point of family life issues moderator. With all that said I feel bad even writing this but I need some advice on our intimacy levels, or the serious lack of. By intimacy I do mean sex but I also mean a simple hug when I get home or a kiss good bye in the morning and everything in between. Like most couples we started off with a serious lust for each other and our intimacy levels were great, even over the top. Once we moved in together intimacy leveled our to an acceptable to what I thought was a normal level. After we got married her brother moved in, that's when I started noticing the levels of intimacy dropping off considerably. Her brother moved out but then her mother moved in. Her excuse was that they would hear us. Now they all have moved out but our intimacy has not improved at all, if anything it is still dropping off. We have not had sex in 6 months and there are times where she asks me to hurry it up. I feel like she is so inundated with everyone's issues that my needs are just not that important. She complains about never getting any time to herself, I offer to take our son out for the day or she can go out with her girlfriends but she says she doesn't want to. So after our son goes to bed (which is still ours), she will just sit in bed watch her shows while I sit alone in the living room. When I try to engage in any intimacy she complains about all day long she is attached to someone either physically by our son or conversations with my daughter, ex, or other family members. I have tried setting up dates and such to try and spice things up but she has a fear of anyone else watching our son. Even her own family. I am at the point where I never wanted to be. Thinking about cheating but my conscious would never let me do that. However, the lack of affection is making me angry inside, angry because I do deserve it! But then I think I am being selfish and I should be more patient. This has been going on for years now, I am hoping that once my son starts full time school she will not feel so inundated. I have read some books where they say some women completely lose their sex drive or feel once a year is very normal. We went to counselling but she does not want to do that anymore. I do not believe she is cheating on me, there are no signs of that whatsoever. So what do I do? Do I hang in there, because financially we cannot afford to be separated and hope things will return to the happier times? | |||
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