Modern Men's views on Women being the "Gatekeeper" - did your wife manipulate you?

I found this article... Gate keepers of sex | Manning Up Smart I liked the 1st 2 paragraphs but then when it hit the "Vagina Authority" & beyond....I felt it completely trampled on the type of relationship I had with my husband while dating... such advice would have instructed him to dump me, I was not worth emotionally investing in...took absolutely no consideration into a woman's moral convictions, guarding her own ... and automatically assumes she is not that into him.. I call on that.... It just seems any time I read something that deals with Manning up, it assaults our way of living/ "being". But really.... is this the Golden Belief of Modern Men today...so cut & dried... those who are Manned up? This subject was on my mind after a post MEM11363 did -in another thread -a little Rant on women who Gate Keep.... interestingly he mentioned "SA" being an exception, considering what he said after that, I most certainly was... it just got me thinking on this Gate keeping view - his words appear in line with this article ... I guess my point is, not all women fall into that "box". Quote: Originally Posted by MEM11363 These threads pop up periodically and I find them to be odd. The way this gets framed is fairly simple: The woman's primary strategy is to 'gate keep' access to her body. There is a huge amount of reverse engineering of human behavior (SA) is the exception though I think if her husband had pushed once they knew they were getting married it would have been a coin toss. The reverse engineering goes like this: I either don't like sex, or I have decided to marry someone who i am not that attracted to so I am going to claim virtue as my motivational driver and not lack of desire. The most extreme example of this are (my wife is catholic so no offense intended) Catholics who claim that even NFP is not really ok. So basically if you aren't willing to conceive, you don't have sex. At least in the US many of these same 'traditional' woman seem to have somehow forgotten that there are many ways to show their man that they are really into him. If they don't want to pick up the tab for the occasional date, they can cook. They can give back massages. They can do other acts of service. In short they can make effort and demonstrate skills in other areas. End of rant On to this article... Quote: When a woman has successfully negotiated and manipulated control for the relationship frame through negotiated sexual access and plays at sexuality, it is always going to color your dealings with her. She has established a conditional reward for desired behavior that lies at the crux of an intimate relationship. This is no way to go through life. Your relationship becomes an ever-present, unspoken understanding, one you helped to foster, that she can ultimately play the pu$$y card and you will comply. And while this may gratify her in the short-term, in achieving her desires for emotional security, she has already lost her respect for you in the long-term, as she simple doesn't see you as a strong and confident man…the type of man she actually wants. So much of this I disagree with.... I felt my husband was beyond better than other guys for deeply caring how I felt and what "waiting" meant to me . The complete & utter opposite of what this speaks. It upped my & appreciation for him....and how backwards to this article...He respected me MORE so for how I felt. Quote: When a woman states that 'she wants to take things slow', 'she's not that type of girl', 'she's traditional', it is either an active ploy of manipulation, to take control of the relationship or covert communication for "I have other options I'm weighing", "you're not my first and best option", or "I'm not that into you". Any way you slice it, you're getting played, as the golden tenant of the SMP is that a woman will have no problem becoming sexual with you, if you exceed their attraction threshold. I would never say this doesn't happen... but not a breathe of this was true for us. I have no idea what "SMP" means? MEN, has this happened to you - did a woman try to control you , manipulate you through this Gate keeping, hiding her true motives? Quote: If sex isn't on the table, neither should any form of commitment So what of those who holds a Older Fashioned Covenantal View of ..it's such a minority today, I guess it doesn't deserve a mention in these types of articles. Quote: "There is nothing as simultaneously fear inspiring and arousing for women as a Man that is self-aware of his own value." "Feminization can't afford men knowing their true value and potential and thus continuously seeks to confuse men and continually inspire doubt and humiliation." " In this regard, holding a belief that you are better than you really are will bring you more success with women than having a realistic appraisal of yourself. " "It is vastly better to error on the side of too much boldness rather than too little… I would prefer Realistic in a man... not obnoxious upped boldness to his worth, just saying. Keep your feet on the ground...show a little humility. Quote: When sex is exchanged for commitment, both parties loose, as what happens when there is a competing and better offer? This article basically tells the men to withhold his showing commitment to the woman...Just shaking my head. I realize this was written for MEN....with the soul belief women want to be , or need to be dangled from a carrot by his Alpha-ness. Typical I guess...a man will do what he's got to do!

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