Excuses for having vanilla sex?

Wife and I were both married previously but had no kids. Her ex-h was a verbally abusive p***k and eventually cheated. One of the repeated stories I hear is about how she sustained an injury (broken ankle) playing sports and he did absolutely nothing to help her - wouldn't take her to the hospital, wouldn't help around the house, wouldn't basically pay any attention to her. Fast forward to now and her list of injuries has grown since we have been together. Broken foot. Separated shoulder. Dislocated rib. Fractured finger. All this in a period of 10 years. She has often said "I've done more with you than anyone else, can't you ever be satisfied?" when it comes to sex. In my head I'm thinking "that's great, but I've been to way more places than you and I really liked the experience at the time but I'd love the experience fully if it were you there with me". She then says she is sexually dense and shuts down completely. After that, about a week or two will pass before we have sex again. The odd time she is willing to do more than just give or receive or have sex in the same place (bed) in the standard 3 positions (missionary, cowgirl or spoon). The odd time we will bring a rabbit vibe to bed with us or maybe have sex on a weeknight. Over the years I've bought a blindfold, wrist and ankle restraints, a can of whipped cream, a sexy outfit for her, an erotic very softcore movie (no penetration, cumshots, etc), and have even tried surprising her by renting a hotel room for one of our date nights. I've texted her naughty suggestions and have even gone to the lengths of writing a sexy story about her and I in a fantasy place. The blindfold was used once. The wrist and ankle restraints were attached to the bed once but never used. The whipped cream got thrown away without being opened. The movie is still in the plastic. The hotel room key was never picked up. My text messages get ignored or the subject is changed without recognizing my original message. The story I wrote is still sitting in the sealed envelope in her dresser. I've tried talking to her about it but she usually shuts down or changes the subject. It's frustrating as hell. When we do have sex it is usually very vanilla, quiet and certain positions/actions are out of the question due to her injuries (won't use the restraints because she is scared her shoulder will pop out, for one). But, she seems to have no problems running on a treadmill, doing yoga and lifting weights at the gym. I've asked her how she can do that but yet can't do anything more in bed. She says "it's different" and walks away. Thoughts ladies?

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