Radio show- "Cheaters have intimacy issues"

I was listening to this radio program with a marriage therapist- Q- How does the BS deal with the anger and lack of "remorse or ambivalence of reconcilition of the WS" Lack of initiative of the WS while the BS is more pro-active in reconciliation?" A- "Insensitivity towards the BS from the cheating spouse is very very normal, there is not always a high level of commitment to rebuild trust. There is a need for the cheating spouse to maintain distance, a cheating spouse has a difficult time with intimacy. A affair is never never never a intimate relationship. The person who has a affair has a issue of being close,letting someone know who they are or really truly knowing someone. Affairs are relationships of emotional distance believe it or not" "When the cheating spouse comes back into the marriage they still have tremendous difficulty with intimacy. They will not know how to be intimate with the partner they wounded. " "A affair is the escape of the root of the problem- wheather you are with your affair partner or married partner. The purpose of an affair is to maintain some level of distance in your relationships. " He goes on to say that you have to find the root of the the intimacy problem in that person or you will have a repeat. Dr. Huizenga posted a link to this interview on his twitter feed today. I found it to be fascinating.....thoughts?

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