| Hi, This is my first post, even though I´ve been reading this forum for a while. We have 2 children, been together for 12 years and generally happy. 3 years ago we radically changed our lives. We moved to a different country, and it wasn´t easy. My wife (we´re not married but she´s my wife!) started a new job and it´s taken all of her free time. When she does have some spare time, she´s too exhausted to do anything. I quit my job and started working from home. I´m usually the one looking after our kids, from morning till they go to bed. I´m very happy with what I do for a job, it´s been a dream of mine for some time, however, because I´m constantly with the kids, my business is suffering. I can´t rely on my wife to help because she believes she needs to be at work for 15 hours straight to prove her worth to the bosses. I need to tell you that all the extra time she puts in at work is not rewarded financially. In other words, if she works her contracted 40 hours or an extra 40 a week, her salary doesn´t change. Very often she rings me to say she´s leaving work, I prepare dinner for everyone, and she arrives 3 hours later because "something came up and I couldn´t turn my back on the team". I also rarely hear from her all day, be it a phone call or a simple text. She´s an hour´s drive away from work, and I worry a lot because she told me that she once nodded off and almost crashed... She´s been in robot mode for 3 years and we´ve been moving further apart in our relationship. I´ve always loved her very much, always been a hopeless romantic, and always tried, everyday, to let her know how much I love her. I feel I´ve changed because I have no reaction from her. It´s as if I know that even if I make an effort, it won´t be recognised. Making love, or even sex, is rare, and when it happens I´m the one initiating it, often to a very cold response, and with a sense of "I have to do it or he´ll be annoyed" I´ve not felt like a "proper" man in a very long time. I see no desired from her part to be with me. I´ve confronted her several times about this, to the point that our latest arguments always end up with either of us saying that we should end this. Even though the negative feelings inside me are steering me to do it, I do believe there is always hope for us. I keep reminding myself why we fell in love in the first place, and I try and fight to bring that feeling back. She keeps giving me reasons why she´s like that: "Tiredness, anemia, the weather, feel sad about the move, too much work", but, even thought I tried to make her see that she does need to find a way to balance her work-life ratio and she agrees, 2 weeks later we´re back to where we were... It´s as if she doesn´t care about what might happen. I honestly don´t know what to do. I´ve put my life on hold for her to be able to work as much as she needs, but I´m starting to realise it was a mistake. She does tell me she loves me very much and I believe her, but if so, why am I not happy?... | |||
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