| Hi everyone. I'm currently typing this on my phone at 3:32am, due to what's becoming a complete fail every night I try sleep ever since I broke up with my girlfriend. I need some advice on what to do next, so let me explain a little bit about me, her, and the relationship I had. I'm 20 years old (was 19 when I began my relationship). Work in a retail environment. Only had one girlfriend. She was 25, now 26. We met at work, shared many interests such as gaming, hate for retail, food, friends, music, whole bunch of things. After a few months of becoming good friends, I got her number, and we started texting pretty much every day. After the first few weeks of meeting her in the first place, I had always been attracted to her, but at the same time was concerned about the age difference between us. Personally, I don't have a problem with it, but after a party at her house one night, and after a few too much to drink, one of her friends asked why she wasn't seeing anyone, and hinted towards me. She said something along the lines of sorry, if I was 18 or 19 like you, Id be right there already, but I'm 25... So I knew that deep down she had issues with the age difference. I'd like to consider myself as a mature person, a little more mature than my other friends my age, who spend a lot of their time out clubbing, getting smashed off their face every Thursday Friday and Saturday night. I'd rather be working to earn money. Getting a bit off track sorry. So anyway, after a month or so, we kept texting, gaming together, and got to the point where I felt I could tell her anything, and I think she was too. We could talk about some pretty intimate stuff without it getting awkward. One week my car broke down, and my father was out of town for that week. Didn't have a way to get to work or get home. Because I worked such late shifts, I could find a lift there, but didn't have anyone to get me home. This came up in conversation with her one day and she offered to pick me up each night. After much reassurance from her I accepted. The first night she didn't stay. Then the second night, she brought some movies over that we'd previously talked about, and watched them. Third night, same thing, then the Thursday night, we took things to the next level, she stayed the night, and our relationship started from there. We talked about what this meant, are we boyfriend and girlfriend, are we friends with benefits, etc. She made it clear she didn't want to tell others yet. Yet. That single word that has been thrown around a lot in my life the past 6 months. I asked her why she felt the need to keep it a secret, she told me she wanted to see what or how this relationship went, and she didn't like the age difference. But right then (and now still) I was so attracted to her I didn't really put a lot of thought to it. Besides, the secretive element of it made it interesting. I thought that after a few weeks, maybe a couple months, she'd feel comfortable telling people. In the 6 months we were together, she told 2 people. One of whom I know, who didn't have a problem with the age. I kept it quiet like she wanted, even though I wanted to tell everyone. For about 4 months things were great, I was loving life. She changed my view on things, after just getting on top of a serious chronic health problem, she made me happy. I went from almost depressed before meeting her to happy as Larry. I don't know if love is the right word, I've only ever had this one relationship, but whatever I was feeling, I would do anything for her. Then towards the end of the year, she started to get more and more distant, we spent a whole lot less time together, everything I did seemed to anger her. I tried so hard to hold onto what we had, then one night she said to me she wasn't sure how much longer this relationship would last for. Instead of going public about out relationship, she wanted to end it. The social obstacles of dating a 19 year old was too much for her, despite the fact that we both had serious feelings for each other. Well, at this point I'm not 100% sure about her. But I certainly had the same attraction to her that I did when I met her, 5 months before. After an argument on nye, I started thinking about ending whatever you would call what I had going with this girl. Halfway into Jan she came over and I said more or less, that I can't have a relationship with someone if it's secret, that's not a relationship, it's a cruel twist of emotion. She agreed, it was somewhat mutual, but gosh what I'd do to be with her again. As of right now, Monday feb 11th at 4:16am, I haven't been sleeping well at night since the start of Feb. the first few weeks after breaking up I was fine. But now, I can't stop thinking about her, about our relationship, and what I'd do to go back in time. I know I need to stop thinking about it, and I know that's the only way to get over it, but I can't, and I need some suggestion on how to get over this. It's stopping me from going out with friends if she's there, I don't know how I'm going to work with her at work. Im sorry for such a long post, but it does feel somewhat relieving to share this story anonymously to many people. Thanks for reading, and please post your advice, it would be much appreciated! | |||
| | |||
| | |||
|
No comments:
Post a Comment