Hello, So I currently live in Japan, I have done so for the past 5 years. During my first year, I met my now wife (Japanese), we started dating (we were each others first relationship). Fast forward 6 months, I proposed, and now next month we are coming up on our 2 year anniversary...
During the dating stage, love was hot and heavy. She was a virgin, so we took it slow at first. We were very much in love and after 2 years of dating, we sealed the knot and were married. Then we moved in with each other..
About a month after moving in, my wife became pregnant. I should mention that her sexual drive was pretty low from the beginning, however, we were still doing it 3 or so times a week.
After she got pregnant, she didn't like the idea of having sex anymore, and wanted to focus on the baby. I understood, for the most part, and didn't force the issue. Then after the baby was born, a month later, we had intercourse for the first time in about 7 months (however, I should mention that during the pregnancy, she would occasionally give me BJs, handjobs, etc).
After the baby was 4 months old, she started to become very cold towards me. Now the baby is 10 months old, and for the past 6 months there has been NO sex, no sexual contact whatsoever (she doesn't like to even hug me anymore).
At first, I thought it was because of the trauma due to giving childbirth, than there was breastfeeding, but now... None of that is still present. She stopped breastfeeding 4 months ago, and she has even said her body has returned to pre-birth level.
Whenever I show any type of affection she is completely turned off. Almost as if disgusted by it. She often says "we should try living separately" maybe with space we can rekindle the love or something.. The ironic part is, she often likes to joke around with me etc. Laugh, watch movies, etc. But If I was to touch her, or say, "I love you etc" its like I am stabbing her with a knife... I just don't get it. I have tried to get her to want to go out on a date, just the two of us, but she is not interested...
For the past 6 months i have been completely starved any-type of physical, emotional connection with my wife and its killing me. I don''t know what to do or what she expects me to do.
I have contemplated giving in and telling her we should try living separately, but I don't want to be away from my daughter (10 months now). So I am at a loss as to what to do. I still love my wife, but the fact that she shows no affection towards me is just making me go crazy. Its like the past love just evaporated into thin air.
She is constantly getting angry at me over the smallest things, constantly puts me down, to the point where I would say its almost verbal abuse. When I took the vow when we got married, I was convinced I found my soul-mates, and I still am, I still want to live with her and be with her for the rest of my life. But, how can either of us be truly happy in the current situation? I really don't know what kind of advice could help my situation but at the least writing it all out has made me feel better.
Thank You for reading.
During the dating stage, love was hot and heavy. She was a virgin, so we took it slow at first. We were very much in love and after 2 years of dating, we sealed the knot and were married. Then we moved in with each other..
About a month after moving in, my wife became pregnant. I should mention that her sexual drive was pretty low from the beginning, however, we were still doing it 3 or so times a week.
After she got pregnant, she didn't like the idea of having sex anymore, and wanted to focus on the baby. I understood, for the most part, and didn't force the issue. Then after the baby was born, a month later, we had intercourse for the first time in about 7 months (however, I should mention that during the pregnancy, she would occasionally give me BJs, handjobs, etc).
After the baby was 4 months old, she started to become very cold towards me. Now the baby is 10 months old, and for the past 6 months there has been NO sex, no sexual contact whatsoever (she doesn't like to even hug me anymore).
At first, I thought it was because of the trauma due to giving childbirth, than there was breastfeeding, but now... None of that is still present. She stopped breastfeeding 4 months ago, and she has even said her body has returned to pre-birth level.
Whenever I show any type of affection she is completely turned off. Almost as if disgusted by it. She often says "we should try living separately" maybe with space we can rekindle the love or something.. The ironic part is, she often likes to joke around with me etc. Laugh, watch movies, etc. But If I was to touch her, or say, "I love you etc" its like I am stabbing her with a knife... I just don't get it. I have tried to get her to want to go out on a date, just the two of us, but she is not interested...
For the past 6 months i have been completely starved any-type of physical, emotional connection with my wife and its killing me. I don''t know what to do or what she expects me to do.
I have contemplated giving in and telling her we should try living separately, but I don't want to be away from my daughter (10 months now). So I am at a loss as to what to do. I still love my wife, but the fact that she shows no affection towards me is just making me go crazy. Its like the past love just evaporated into thin air.
She is constantly getting angry at me over the smallest things, constantly puts me down, to the point where I would say its almost verbal abuse. When I took the vow when we got married, I was convinced I found my soul-mates, and I still am, I still want to live with her and be with her for the rest of my life. But, how can either of us be truly happy in the current situation? I really don't know what kind of advice could help my situation but at the least writing it all out has made me feel better.
Thank You for reading.
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