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Does anyone else feel that EA's are worse than PA's?

I am coming to the realization that EA's can be worse because the wayward spouse has a harder time detaching from the AP for a positive R. I can honestly say her having a fvck buddy might have been easier if she was not having an EA. Though it never went full physical, I would still prefer that than going through the EA. Because most of the damage to me was done with her wanting to divorce or wish me dead. Am I wrong to feel this way?

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