My wife and I welcomed our first child into the world in April. Just 6 weeks later, my father succumbed to long-term illness and passed away. While my wife was supportive for weeks before and after his death, I feel like any display of emotion on my part is seen as weak.
As a more specific example, we are trying to come up with plans for what to do for Thanksgiving. My brother is married to a woman who doesn't really get along with my mother or wife. He and his wife are holding a Thanksgiving dinner at their house. However, my mom chooses not to go, and told us she would rather stay home and have dinner at her house. My brother and sister-in-law are still throwing the dinner at their house, but my wife and I, along with my mother, do not want to attend.
The problem, however, lies with my wife. She will not be receptive to the idea of having Thanksgiving dinner at my mother's house. My mother and my wife get along great, they talk on the phone more than I talk to my mom on the phone. But my wife is insistent on having "our own traditions" now that we have a baby. I don't usually ask for a lot, but I told her it's going to be a hard year for my mom, so I'd like us to just go over there and have dinner at her house, to make it easier on her.
After a lot of arguing, we are still at a stand-still. My wife suggested I ask my mother to come eat dinner at our house instead, but that would require us lying to my brother about it, as her whole excuse for not going to his house was dependent on her insisting she stay at her own house for Thanksgiving.
The whole thing makes me very emotional and sad, because I miss my father dearly, and I want to do what's best for my mom and have her surrounded by family in her house. But my wife will not budge, and is insisting that I do what she wants. I don't feel very valued or respected.
As a more specific example, we are trying to come up with plans for what to do for Thanksgiving. My brother is married to a woman who doesn't really get along with my mother or wife. He and his wife are holding a Thanksgiving dinner at their house. However, my mom chooses not to go, and told us she would rather stay home and have dinner at her house. My brother and sister-in-law are still throwing the dinner at their house, but my wife and I, along with my mother, do not want to attend.
The problem, however, lies with my wife. She will not be receptive to the idea of having Thanksgiving dinner at my mother's house. My mother and my wife get along great, they talk on the phone more than I talk to my mom on the phone. But my wife is insistent on having "our own traditions" now that we have a baby. I don't usually ask for a lot, but I told her it's going to be a hard year for my mom, so I'd like us to just go over there and have dinner at her house, to make it easier on her.
After a lot of arguing, we are still at a stand-still. My wife suggested I ask my mother to come eat dinner at our house instead, but that would require us lying to my brother about it, as her whole excuse for not going to his house was dependent on her insisting she stay at her own house for Thanksgiving.
The whole thing makes me very emotional and sad, because I miss my father dearly, and I want to do what's best for my mom and have her surrounded by family in her house. But my wife will not budge, and is insisting that I do what she wants. I don't feel very valued or respected.
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