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How did you get over your anger with affair and kids involved?

I have other threads, but this might help others as well. Just handed in the divorce papers today.

Short four year marriage but have a beautiful 3 yr old son.

Wife started online affair in March while her family was staying with us. She used our money to fly and see this man twice.

Treated me worse and worse. I basically lived an entire year of lies.
He ended up sending her tens of thousands for an attorney, apartment etc.
So she left and has primary custody of my son. I see him about 40 percent of the time.

To make things worse, recently I download whatsapp, and since she is in my contact list I see her photo. It is a picture of her and this guy kissing her neck. Didn't even know she used this.

So I have anger. Towards her. Towards this man. She admits the divorce was not my fault, and she just wanted "movie love" .

How do I get over this anger?

I ask because of this. I attended the mandatory divorced parents seminar. There was a man outside smoking a cigarette. His ex wife approached to say she thought he quit smoking. He turned his back with a pissed off look.

Now seeing it from the outside this seems sad and weak to me. This woman obviously affected him a lot and it obviously isn't good to be holding anger.

But part of me is almost losing interest in my son. I wish the worst for her. My son lives in a home this guy furnished while we were married. Soon she will be driving a car he bought.
Soon he will be living with another man more than he sees me. And by losing interest I mean, as an example, she has him for this thanksgiving. But for weeks she has been dropping hints that I can have him this entire week. Obviously she wants to be with her lover. While I miss my son, I also do nt want to be me babysitter making her life easier. I also need to work and pay bills.

This also all cost me tens of thousands. Someone else paid for her so she has no cares.

But when I see her, and I had to for four times a week usually, she starts crying. After he divorce class saying she needs me. Or other times she is all happy and friendly like nothing happened. Almost pisses me off more.

So how have some of you moved on, and were still a good father? Let go of the hate and lived your own life without so much resentment?
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