This will probably be a long post. Its not so much looking for advice, Im looking to vent and share my experience, because its really messed up LOL.
So my wife and I got together pretty young. We where off again and on again dating for about 5 years. Every "off" again was not my choice, she would get restless and want a break. Anyways, we finally get back together, and she convinces me Im all she wants. So we get married. Her 18, me 21. And we have our first child shortly after. Then she cheats on me, multiple times with multiple people. I find out, we fight, Im young and stupid, so I fall for the whole "I love you, but you just are not attentive enough to my needs". So I feel guilty, felt like it was all my fault she did this too me. So we move to another state. Everything is good for a number of years, we have another child. Then she cheats again, with a friend of the family. So instead of taking the blame this time, I get even. I slept with multiple women from work and friends. But of course this didnt help anything, but we end up working through it and staying together.
Everything was going good again for a while, and she goes to visit her mom like she does most summers while I work. Then calls me up, saying she wants a divorce. She found the man she wants to be with, and its not me. Surprise huh? So Ive had it at this point. We file for divorce, and I work on me. I find someone Im interested in, start dating, moving on. Then she dumps her "true love" because its not what she had expected. And we patch things up....again....
Now fast forward to present. I find out she has been cheating on me with an on again/off again affair with what was her "Best friend" who is also married by the way. I have been the most attentive husband, father and provider since the first incident. Ive made it a point. She came clean to me, becuase the guilt was eatting her up. But still wont take 100% responsibility for this one. She still sites times, days I made her feel lonley, and thats why it happen. I know thats BS. I know its not my fault, I realise it never was. She wont go to councling because shes afraid of what they will say to her (her words). She wants to just forget it and move on like we have in the past. But honestly I cannot seem to forgive this one. I look at all the past mistakes, and can almost justify them to an extent... I know it sounds stupid, but I can. This one, I cannot find anything I did wrong at all!
Im at a loss. I cant seem to move forward, and find myself hateing her, and myself. She continues to talk to male friends (Not the one she had an affair with, him and his wife are gone, moved away). But Im upset because she continues to have these male friends she talks too during the day. I wonder who the next one is she will cheat on me with. Instead of being happy she has friends.
So my wife and I got together pretty young. We where off again and on again dating for about 5 years. Every "off" again was not my choice, she would get restless and want a break. Anyways, we finally get back together, and she convinces me Im all she wants. So we get married. Her 18, me 21. And we have our first child shortly after. Then she cheats on me, multiple times with multiple people. I find out, we fight, Im young and stupid, so I fall for the whole "I love you, but you just are not attentive enough to my needs". So I feel guilty, felt like it was all my fault she did this too me. So we move to another state. Everything is good for a number of years, we have another child. Then she cheats again, with a friend of the family. So instead of taking the blame this time, I get even. I slept with multiple women from work and friends. But of course this didnt help anything, but we end up working through it and staying together.
Everything was going good again for a while, and she goes to visit her mom like she does most summers while I work. Then calls me up, saying she wants a divorce. She found the man she wants to be with, and its not me. Surprise huh? So Ive had it at this point. We file for divorce, and I work on me. I find someone Im interested in, start dating, moving on. Then she dumps her "true love" because its not what she had expected. And we patch things up....again....
Now fast forward to present. I find out she has been cheating on me with an on again/off again affair with what was her "Best friend" who is also married by the way. I have been the most attentive husband, father and provider since the first incident. Ive made it a point. She came clean to me, becuase the guilt was eatting her up. But still wont take 100% responsibility for this one. She still sites times, days I made her feel lonley, and thats why it happen. I know thats BS. I know its not my fault, I realise it never was. She wont go to councling because shes afraid of what they will say to her (her words). She wants to just forget it and move on like we have in the past. But honestly I cannot seem to forgive this one. I look at all the past mistakes, and can almost justify them to an extent... I know it sounds stupid, but I can. This one, I cannot find anything I did wrong at all!
Im at a loss. I cant seem to move forward, and find myself hateing her, and myself. She continues to talk to male friends (Not the one she had an affair with, him and his wife are gone, moved away). But Im upset because she continues to have these male friends she talks too during the day. I wonder who the next one is she will cheat on me with. Instead of being happy she has friends.
Put the internet to work for you.
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