First time poster, been browsing through a lot of the material looking for answers and still feel "lost"
Here is the brief run down.
Wife and I have been married 11 years, two years into it, she started having an affair. The affair lasted about 10 months and was basically like having two husbands. I was meeting her needs on the financial side, and he was meeting all her other needs. There was also a couple of one night stands thrown in the mix, that came out during counseling.
I caught them in bed about 6 months prior to me actually getting "confirmation" that it was going on, I went into denial after I caught them.
I travel a lot with my job, so it made for the best possible mixture for her.
The problem is, I still have issues with it. I would have thought by now, it would have subsided. However it hasnt, some days are better then others. I just simply have been going through the motions of being "married".
We have a 4 year old son and one on the way, and the first thing I did when I found out she was preganant was check my date book to see if I was in town. The first one was a fertility baby, so I was there the day it happened. The doctors told us we had an unexplained fertility issue, so immediatley my alarms went off. Forunantley, I was in town so that subsided.
I have reached out to a counsler, to see what they have to tell me, and so far we are just in that "getting to know you phase" but it helps to get it out.
I have never been able to get the image of them in bed together out of my head, and I often wonder if I am gone for work, what's going on.
I dont want to have those feelings anymore, that's what I am hoping the counselor can help me with.
It's been 9 years since it happened, and there isnt a day goes by that something doesnt trigger a memory or a thought of what happened.
Everything on TV is about affairs and cheating, so I basically quit watching it. Hell, I have hard time watching football, without something coming up about it.
I hate going through life feeling this way, she seemed remorseful about all of it, and do believe that, but she still watches all the shows about affairs, like Nashville, and Big Love and now has started reading the Fifty Shades of Grey books.
She wants me to watch it with her, and I refuse. I usually get a remark like why not, it's entertaining.
She is a stay at home mom, so I can usually keep track of her, but when I gone for work it's tough. That is when it will throw my senses into overdrive.
Anyone else ever dealt with this type of thing, because I am completely lost. I feel like I was expected to make the marriage work and so I stuck it out.
Here is the brief run down.
Wife and I have been married 11 years, two years into it, she started having an affair. The affair lasted about 10 months and was basically like having two husbands. I was meeting her needs on the financial side, and he was meeting all her other needs. There was also a couple of one night stands thrown in the mix, that came out during counseling.
I caught them in bed about 6 months prior to me actually getting "confirmation" that it was going on, I went into denial after I caught them.
I travel a lot with my job, so it made for the best possible mixture for her.
The problem is, I still have issues with it. I would have thought by now, it would have subsided. However it hasnt, some days are better then others. I just simply have been going through the motions of being "married".
We have a 4 year old son and one on the way, and the first thing I did when I found out she was preganant was check my date book to see if I was in town. The first one was a fertility baby, so I was there the day it happened. The doctors told us we had an unexplained fertility issue, so immediatley my alarms went off. Forunantley, I was in town so that subsided.
I have reached out to a counsler, to see what they have to tell me, and so far we are just in that "getting to know you phase" but it helps to get it out.
I have never been able to get the image of them in bed together out of my head, and I often wonder if I am gone for work, what's going on.
I dont want to have those feelings anymore, that's what I am hoping the counselor can help me with.
It's been 9 years since it happened, and there isnt a day goes by that something doesnt trigger a memory or a thought of what happened.
Everything on TV is about affairs and cheating, so I basically quit watching it. Hell, I have hard time watching football, without something coming up about it.
I hate going through life feeling this way, she seemed remorseful about all of it, and do believe that, but she still watches all the shows about affairs, like Nashville, and Big Love and now has started reading the Fifty Shades of Grey books.
She wants me to watch it with her, and I refuse. I usually get a remark like why not, it's entertaining.
She is a stay at home mom, so I can usually keep track of her, but when I gone for work it's tough. That is when it will throw my senses into overdrive.
Anyone else ever dealt with this type of thing, because I am completely lost. I feel like I was expected to make the marriage work and so I stuck it out.
Put the internet to work for you.
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