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Lost Love of Life (im a Jerk)

I dated her 3 years. After 1.5 years we started argueing over how she delt with her ex-husband. The ex is a cop. She was easily manipulated and he did it often. I tried to help but should not have. Anyway, the last year I broke up with her many times and we would get back together. I ended it 2 months ago thinking the grass would be greener. I dated someone and as each day goes by, I miss her more and more. I called her and she has moved on and doesn't want anything to do with me.
I obsessed over stupid **** when we were together, I tried to control her. I don't know why other than she was failry easy to manipulate. I took advantage.. Looking back she was a great girl and I will have a very hard time replacing her. I have been crying day and night. Im a damn mess and Im a jerk bc I don't deserve her. She tried so so hard to make things work. I was just being a bully. I want her back so so bad and the pain will not go away. Ive dated a couple women and it doesn't matter how great they are,, I think of my ex. I feel she was supposed to be my "rocking chair buddy". She had this WOW factor whenever I saw her. She was very beautiful bt also carried herself well.
I spoke to her and she has zero feelings bc I broke it off so many times. She is DONE and I hear other women say that when they are done,,,its done for good.
Is that true??

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