My husband (36) and I (32) have been together for 14 years, married for 5, two young kids. He is the only man I've ever slept with.
We've had sexual problems over the last three years - I want it, he doesn't. He owns a very successful business and works long hours and is very stressed. When he hits the bed or couch he is out in 5 minutes. He's initiated sex <20 times since we've been married. I am rejected 95% of the time. If he accepts my advances, he is usually unable to perform. The only time we have decent sex is when we get away for a weekend.
It has become a more serious issue over the last 6 months and so we started seeing a marriage counselor a month ago.
Last weekend, I went away with my friends for 4 days and left my children at home with my husband. Upon returning home, I discovered that he had been looking at escort websites. When I confronted him, he said he was just looking at them for the photos. Then I found out from our phone bills that he was calling them from 11:30-5am and he said he was doing it for self pleasure. But he had two friends hanging out with him so why would he be doing that all night long? I went to the video cameras in my house and found two hookers in my kitchen at 5am. They took his shirt off and tried to kiss him but he looked uncomfortable and it stopped. During the the 2.5 hours they were there, one friend slept and the other went upstairs with one girl two times. My husband spent alone time with both of them upstairs but swears that he did not do anything sexual with them. I believe that he did not because he has performance issues and he was under the influence of alcohol and drugs (a whole other issue in our marriage) But I do not know if the intent was there. Or if they tried to do something to him while laying in my bed naked/half naked with him. The worst part is that my 3 year old son came down to the kitchen upstairs at 7am and then went back up to look for his dad who was in our room with one of the girls. The last time I see a girl on the camera is when she comes down my front stairs 10 seconds before my husband and son come down the back stairs.
My husband claims it was not his idea, didn't do anything etc. etc.
But my son woke up! They hadn't gone to bed yet. There were bottle all over the counter and who knows what else. Our other baby was sleeping across the way.
I can't look at him, he will not leave the house, thinks being super dad for the last day is going to make it better. I asked him to move out but he said he can't live without me and he can't leave our home.
I don't know if I want to fix this. I'm imagining it will take years to build the trust up (he claims he has also called escort services around 10x during our marriage for fun but they never meet up, so phone sex?)
I don't know what to do. My husband does stupid things but I never imagined that he would every do anything this horrible.
Just wondering if anyone is listening, has advice, has been there. :(:(
We've had sexual problems over the last three years - I want it, he doesn't. He owns a very successful business and works long hours and is very stressed. When he hits the bed or couch he is out in 5 minutes. He's initiated sex <20 times since we've been married. I am rejected 95% of the time. If he accepts my advances, he is usually unable to perform. The only time we have decent sex is when we get away for a weekend.
It has become a more serious issue over the last 6 months and so we started seeing a marriage counselor a month ago.
Last weekend, I went away with my friends for 4 days and left my children at home with my husband. Upon returning home, I discovered that he had been looking at escort websites. When I confronted him, he said he was just looking at them for the photos. Then I found out from our phone bills that he was calling them from 11:30-5am and he said he was doing it for self pleasure. But he had two friends hanging out with him so why would he be doing that all night long? I went to the video cameras in my house and found two hookers in my kitchen at 5am. They took his shirt off and tried to kiss him but he looked uncomfortable and it stopped. During the the 2.5 hours they were there, one friend slept and the other went upstairs with one girl two times. My husband spent alone time with both of them upstairs but swears that he did not do anything sexual with them. I believe that he did not because he has performance issues and he was under the influence of alcohol and drugs (a whole other issue in our marriage) But I do not know if the intent was there. Or if they tried to do something to him while laying in my bed naked/half naked with him. The worst part is that my 3 year old son came down to the kitchen upstairs at 7am and then went back up to look for his dad who was in our room with one of the girls. The last time I see a girl on the camera is when she comes down my front stairs 10 seconds before my husband and son come down the back stairs.
My husband claims it was not his idea, didn't do anything etc. etc.
But my son woke up! They hadn't gone to bed yet. There were bottle all over the counter and who knows what else. Our other baby was sleeping across the way.
I can't look at him, he will not leave the house, thinks being super dad for the last day is going to make it better. I asked him to move out but he said he can't live without me and he can't leave our home.
I don't know if I want to fix this. I'm imagining it will take years to build the trust up (he claims he has also called escort services around 10x during our marriage for fun but they never meet up, so phone sex?)
I don't know what to do. My husband does stupid things but I never imagined that he would every do anything this horrible.
Just wondering if anyone is listening, has advice, has been there. :(:(
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