This is my first post, so pardon me if I don't use the lingo just yet.
My story, DH and I have been together for a total of 10 years, 1 daughter.
7 years ago, DH did the I love you but I am not in love with you and walked out. Told me he was going for a drive and didn't come home until the next day. I found out he was seeing a girl he worked with and he saw her approx 6 months after we split and he came running back as soon as he noticed me getting my life back together. I took him back eventually, we did not seek any type of counseling, just did a lot of talking about everything.
Fast forward
4 years ago, I found out he was having EA with a friend of his out of state. He was supposed to end it. I forgave him.
Off and On since these times I obviously have things that trigger my trust issues. He's never shown signs of having another until recently. He lost a bunch of weight, looks good, feels better about himself, he is dressing much nicer, grooming is important and suddenly about a month ago he admitted that he wasn't happy. Frankly, I haven't been happy myself bc I feel like I am the last person on his list of imporant people. We had a long talk and he said he thinks we have both fallen out of love at the same time and we don't have much in common anymore and it's like we are going in different directions. ***WHOA...that sent my red lights off*** he says there is nothing else going on or no one else influencing his feelings but I have seen this before with him.
He says he wants to work things out.....we started IC, nothing together yet.
Also of importance, he feels my trust issues with him are a big part of why we are where we are...SO being that I've been down this road before. I slapped myself around a little, went through the pity party and now I am in the well, I have no control over his feelings or actions. I am hoping for the best but I'm ready for the worst. The counseling process is slow, I feel like I am living with a stranger....he still shows some signs of affection but he doesn't really talk to me much unless I initiate conversation. I am so lonely....I've told him this. I just don't see much effort from him and my heart can only take so much more.
Any advice? :-)
My story, DH and I have been together for a total of 10 years, 1 daughter.
7 years ago, DH did the I love you but I am not in love with you and walked out. Told me he was going for a drive and didn't come home until the next day. I found out he was seeing a girl he worked with and he saw her approx 6 months after we split and he came running back as soon as he noticed me getting my life back together. I took him back eventually, we did not seek any type of counseling, just did a lot of talking about everything.
Fast forward
4 years ago, I found out he was having EA with a friend of his out of state. He was supposed to end it. I forgave him.
Off and On since these times I obviously have things that trigger my trust issues. He's never shown signs of having another until recently. He lost a bunch of weight, looks good, feels better about himself, he is dressing much nicer, grooming is important and suddenly about a month ago he admitted that he wasn't happy. Frankly, I haven't been happy myself bc I feel like I am the last person on his list of imporant people. We had a long talk and he said he thinks we have both fallen out of love at the same time and we don't have much in common anymore and it's like we are going in different directions. ***WHOA...that sent my red lights off*** he says there is nothing else going on or no one else influencing his feelings but I have seen this before with him.
He says he wants to work things out.....we started IC, nothing together yet.
Also of importance, he feels my trust issues with him are a big part of why we are where we are...SO being that I've been down this road before. I slapped myself around a little, went through the pity party and now I am in the well, I have no control over his feelings or actions. I am hoping for the best but I'm ready for the worst. The counseling process is slow, I feel like I am living with a stranger....he still shows some signs of affection but he doesn't really talk to me much unless I initiate conversation. I am so lonely....I've told him this. I just don't see much effort from him and my heart can only take so much more.
Any advice? :-)
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