Let's get right into it...
Married 10 years; 3 daughters. I'm military (deployed twice), she's a SAHM and just started going back to school in January. Oh, and she is a girl scout leader.
Her passion was gone long ago. It used to be there. Maybe kids will do that. For months (maybe over a year) I've been wishing there was more in the bedroom. Vanilla sex is ok and about twice a week. I want more, though. About half the time she's rushing me to get started (I like foreplay, she doesn't). Everytime, though, I feel rushed. I want to play and have fun.
Lately she's been scheduling a lot with the kids. Whether it's girl scout related or she plans a trip to a kids' museum or similar. The affection has been dwindling, too. We used to be snuggly and kissey in the beginning. She gives it to the kids now. And the dog :( .
I've been supporting her going to school. I work a full time job and I clean the house and take care of the kids. I gave her my GI Bill so her tuition is fully funded. I've been supporting her in girl scouts. She was short a co-leader so I stepped up and I lead the Brownies (I was excited to be a part of it).
For a long time I've wanted more. I recently told her about my pent up desire for her and how I want to express it physically. She says I'm being selfish. I am. She's a great mother to our children and in all other aspects she a great wife. I love supporting her. She says that by me whining about wanting more I'm not supporting her.
I know I'm being selfish. She's been supporting me in my career for the past ten years. But I NEED that kind of connection. There have been times where I've thought "if I don't get it here, where do I get it from?" I long for that passion. I'm not happy right now. I think I just glazed it over before and I've finally realized how unhappy I am.
I love her and she loves me. She says she can't give me anymore than she already does. I should get my connection from the kids (sometimes I think she's married to the kids).
I know I'm being selfish. But I deserve to be happy, too, right? I've found myself looking at other women. I would never do anything while still married. But I long for that touch.
I'm considering leaving her and finding someone who can give that to me. She's turned down marriage counseling. She's "too busy" :( .
I'm pretty confused, sad and hurt right now. Maybe after a few weeks/months/years I'll be able to glaze over it again and carry on. But I know I'd feel these feelings again. This isn't the first time I've had these thoughts. The first time was about five years ago, and then 6 months ago. Where will I be in another five years.
Sorry for the wall of text. I'm just looking for thoughts on my situation. Thanks in advance.
Married 10 years; 3 daughters. I'm military (deployed twice), she's a SAHM and just started going back to school in January. Oh, and she is a girl scout leader.
Her passion was gone long ago. It used to be there. Maybe kids will do that. For months (maybe over a year) I've been wishing there was more in the bedroom. Vanilla sex is ok and about twice a week. I want more, though. About half the time she's rushing me to get started (I like foreplay, she doesn't). Everytime, though, I feel rushed. I want to play and have fun.
Lately she's been scheduling a lot with the kids. Whether it's girl scout related or she plans a trip to a kids' museum or similar. The affection has been dwindling, too. We used to be snuggly and kissey in the beginning. She gives it to the kids now. And the dog :( .
I've been supporting her going to school. I work a full time job and I clean the house and take care of the kids. I gave her my GI Bill so her tuition is fully funded. I've been supporting her in girl scouts. She was short a co-leader so I stepped up and I lead the Brownies (I was excited to be a part of it).
For a long time I've wanted more. I recently told her about my pent up desire for her and how I want to express it physically. She says I'm being selfish. I am. She's a great mother to our children and in all other aspects she a great wife. I love supporting her. She says that by me whining about wanting more I'm not supporting her.
I know I'm being selfish. She's been supporting me in my career for the past ten years. But I NEED that kind of connection. There have been times where I've thought "if I don't get it here, where do I get it from?" I long for that passion. I'm not happy right now. I think I just glazed it over before and I've finally realized how unhappy I am.
I love her and she loves me. She says she can't give me anymore than she already does. I should get my connection from the kids (sometimes I think she's married to the kids).
I know I'm being selfish. But I deserve to be happy, too, right? I've found myself looking at other women. I would never do anything while still married. But I long for that touch.
I'm considering leaving her and finding someone who can give that to me. She's turned down marriage counseling. She's "too busy" :( .
I'm pretty confused, sad and hurt right now. Maybe after a few weeks/months/years I'll be able to glaze over it again and carry on. But I know I'd feel these feelings again. This isn't the first time I've had these thoughts. The first time was about five years ago, and then 6 months ago. Where will I be in another five years.
Sorry for the wall of text. I'm just looking for thoughts on my situation. Thanks in advance.
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