My spouse has had multiple affairs throughout our marriage. When full disclosure came, it was obvious something was wrong. The pattern did not fit your typical affair (multiple overlapping affairs, no emotional involvement, seemingly happy in marriage with no intent to leave it, significant lack of empathy, and almost a compulsive behavior pattern).
Spouse has been seeing psych for years but blowing smoke the entire time. Only this past week did spouse go in and tell psych everything that has been going on in their life over the last decade. Psych, given what they know now, believes it to be borderline personality disorder. Much of what I read fits, right down to the poor relationship skills, risky sexual behavior, and tendency to latch on to those affair partners who are specifically emotionally unavailable.
Spouse tells me they are ready to come clean and address their issues in individual therapy, and our struggle in couples therapy. My concern is the work being done to treat the BPD does not appear to really address the affairs, at least not directly, and is focused just on my spouse. To me, it feels like I am living with a heroin addict who is being treated for everything but the addiction. What is being done to prevent the need for risky sex? We both agree promises are meaningless.
Anyone deal with this type of infidelity and be able to reconcile? I want to stand by them because I meant what I said.......in sickness and in health.
Spouse has been seeing psych for years but blowing smoke the entire time. Only this past week did spouse go in and tell psych everything that has been going on in their life over the last decade. Psych, given what they know now, believes it to be borderline personality disorder. Much of what I read fits, right down to the poor relationship skills, risky sexual behavior, and tendency to latch on to those affair partners who are specifically emotionally unavailable.
Spouse tells me they are ready to come clean and address their issues in individual therapy, and our struggle in couples therapy. My concern is the work being done to treat the BPD does not appear to really address the affairs, at least not directly, and is focused just on my spouse. To me, it feels like I am living with a heroin addict who is being treated for everything but the addiction. What is being done to prevent the need for risky sex? We both agree promises are meaningless.
Anyone deal with this type of infidelity and be able to reconcile? I want to stand by them because I meant what I said.......in sickness and in health.
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