Hello everyone, I hope you all had a good weekend. I was having a decent one until my wife decided to up and leave around 9:30 last night. She initially said she was going to go get cat food and trash bags, then she texted me and said she thought I was the reason for her anxiety. Frustrated, I snapped back that maybe she should leave if I was such a problem. Before I go further, here is some background information:
We have been married 4 years, and been together about 5. I am a former Marine, and I have been separated from the service for almost a year. Last year, my wife had an emotional affair with a man from xbox live. She plays xbox pretty regularly, and in fact, her usage of the thing after her emotional fling plays a big part in my insecurity. During that emotional affair last year, she told me that this other man (I use the term very loosely; he was a drug dealer who couldn't stay off pills), was her soul mate. She asked me to leave so she could bring him into our home to "see how things played out". During this time, we had sex, or attempted to, once. That one time, she told me it didn't mean anything and was just sex. Of course, after the whole ordeal, I was completely devastated. I was ready for a divorce, and I told her that. She spontaneously said she wanted to work things out, and said her and the other man were just going to be friends. Of course, I was NOT okay with this, and it took me 1-2 months of being up her ass about her relationship with him (I found some incriminating messages between him and her on her phone), she stopped talking to him. Well, after that ordeal, I was not pleased that she still constantly made guy friends on xbox and continued to behave in pretty much the same manner that she did before, which led to the emotional affair. Of course, I was insecure, so I was engaging in checking her email, texts, xbox friends and messages, etc (her main mode of contact was through an app called text+), and she was none too happy. This went on, with her complaining about me being super controlling, but mind you, beforehand, she was going out very regularly with some questionable people (one was cheating on her husband with one man, and another with multiple), to bars and the like, and sometimes would not come back until 5am. We have a 3 year old now, who was just over a year back when she was doing this, and I was none too happy about the behavior, because she was always hung over, and we never did anything together. Everytime she went out, she came back with a new guy's phone number, and it pissed me off to no end. I confronted her about this several times, and she insisted they were just friends. Fast forward to yesterday. After spending all day upstairs sleeping/playing xbox, she came downstairs around 9:30, dressed, and said she was going to the store to get cat food and trash bags. She then texted me that I was probably the reason for her anxiety. Her anxiety began last year, shortly after her emotional affair, and it was completely unrelated to me(or so I think) because she was at the bar with a friend, and she just suddenly couldn't be around the crowd of people. It is now Monday Morning, and she is still not back. I told her how I felt, and how I thought it was wrong that she gave more attention to all these other men from xbox than to me (I play soccer, and through 2 seasons this year, she's onl y come to one of my games), and that if she didn't do that, I wouldn't be up her ass about **** like I am. What I want to know is, am I being controlling or is my wife just playing me? Do my boundaries sound unreasonable? I don't like the fact that she has so many male friends, regardless of where they are. I don't like when she goes out by herself and doesn't come home until after 1am. I don't like the fact she constantly texts and calls other guys she meets online, and I am frankly at my wit's end. Please advise.
We have been married 4 years, and been together about 5. I am a former Marine, and I have been separated from the service for almost a year. Last year, my wife had an emotional affair with a man from xbox live. She plays xbox pretty regularly, and in fact, her usage of the thing after her emotional fling plays a big part in my insecurity. During that emotional affair last year, she told me that this other man (I use the term very loosely; he was a drug dealer who couldn't stay off pills), was her soul mate. She asked me to leave so she could bring him into our home to "see how things played out". During this time, we had sex, or attempted to, once. That one time, she told me it didn't mean anything and was just sex. Of course, after the whole ordeal, I was completely devastated. I was ready for a divorce, and I told her that. She spontaneously said she wanted to work things out, and said her and the other man were just going to be friends. Of course, I was NOT okay with this, and it took me 1-2 months of being up her ass about her relationship with him (I found some incriminating messages between him and her on her phone), she stopped talking to him. Well, after that ordeal, I was not pleased that she still constantly made guy friends on xbox and continued to behave in pretty much the same manner that she did before, which led to the emotional affair. Of course, I was insecure, so I was engaging in checking her email, texts, xbox friends and messages, etc (her main mode of contact was through an app called text+), and she was none too happy. This went on, with her complaining about me being super controlling, but mind you, beforehand, she was going out very regularly with some questionable people (one was cheating on her husband with one man, and another with multiple), to bars and the like, and sometimes would not come back until 5am. We have a 3 year old now, who was just over a year back when she was doing this, and I was none too happy about the behavior, because she was always hung over, and we never did anything together. Everytime she went out, she came back with a new guy's phone number, and it pissed me off to no end. I confronted her about this several times, and she insisted they were just friends. Fast forward to yesterday. After spending all day upstairs sleeping/playing xbox, she came downstairs around 9:30, dressed, and said she was going to the store to get cat food and trash bags. She then texted me that I was probably the reason for her anxiety. Her anxiety began last year, shortly after her emotional affair, and it was completely unrelated to me(or so I think) because she was at the bar with a friend, and she just suddenly couldn't be around the crowd of people. It is now Monday Morning, and she is still not back. I told her how I felt, and how I thought it was wrong that she gave more attention to all these other men from xbox than to me (I play soccer, and through 2 seasons this year, she's onl y come to one of my games), and that if she didn't do that, I wouldn't be up her ass about **** like I am. What I want to know is, am I being controlling or is my wife just playing me? Do my boundaries sound unreasonable? I don't like the fact that she has so many male friends, regardless of where they are. I don't like when she goes out by herself and doesn't come home until after 1am. I don't like the fact she constantly texts and calls other guys she meets online, and I am frankly at my wit's end. Please advise.
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