New Guy here,
My wife and I dated all throughout high school, through college, and eventually moved to a big city to bolster her career. I made the sacrifice and found a job to help her in any way I could. We were best friends, exploring the city, and making new friends together along the way. After 10 years of dating, we married, and things started progressing at an accelerated pace. She landed an amazing job with a large corporation - our goal had been complete! - and I was still with the company I got hired on to and was moving up. Within a year, we bought a house, and soon after had our first child. He is 19 months tomorrow as well, and I could not love him any more than I do.
Approximately 6 months ago, my wife became more and more involved at work. She found herself in a position to manage a large number of contractors and was evolving into a woman of independence, authority, and a whole slew of other adjectives. Her tastes in music changed, she began working out early in the morning, and staying late at work.
She withdrew herself emotionally, and maternally, and I resisted it, going through every phase of depression, trying to salvage our relationship. I read countless self help books and encouraged her to read them with me. One night, I even attempted to read one of the books to her, only to realize that after I had finished the first chapter, she fell asleep. Eventually she moved out and left me with our son.
A month and a half after moving out she called me to say she got her own apartment and was coming to take our son. I had previously drawn a line in the sand that once crossed, would leave me with no choice but to file for divorce. She had just crossed that line. I switched gears from saving the marriage, to salvaging my time with our son. We just had our temporary hearing and I am fortunate enough to have him half of the school week, and she gets him on the weekends. Prior to her officially moving in her apartment, I hired a PI to see where she was staying, as she told me she was staying with a female coworker. He uncovered she was staying at one of her contractor's house and probably had been for a while. I even unknowingly let this man in my house as he was there with two other men to help her move her stuff out of my house.
So here we are now. We have been ordered to keep contact through Our Family Wizard, and the communication has actually been better than it has been in months. Unfortunately, our anniversary is tomorrow, and I can only imagine she will wake up tomorrow with him in her bed, or vice versa. The affair is finally taking its toll on me, as it never really seemed to bother me as of yet. Perhaps it is because I swallowed that bullet long before the affair was confirmed.
I am a man of faith, and was raised to ALWAYS forgive. I know that I can see past her trespasses, and I am always ready to reconcile. For me, it would also mean being able to spend every day with my son, a prize worth any sacrifice to me. I love his mother dearly, and still cannot process or begin to understand what she has done or how she is feeling. These last few months have only been a sliver of our life together, and I know forwardly thinking, would be an even smaller slice of our lives to come.
Words of encouragement would go a long way today as tomorrow unfolds. Until then....
My wife and I dated all throughout high school, through college, and eventually moved to a big city to bolster her career. I made the sacrifice and found a job to help her in any way I could. We were best friends, exploring the city, and making new friends together along the way. After 10 years of dating, we married, and things started progressing at an accelerated pace. She landed an amazing job with a large corporation - our goal had been complete! - and I was still with the company I got hired on to and was moving up. Within a year, we bought a house, and soon after had our first child. He is 19 months tomorrow as well, and I could not love him any more than I do.
Approximately 6 months ago, my wife became more and more involved at work. She found herself in a position to manage a large number of contractors and was evolving into a woman of independence, authority, and a whole slew of other adjectives. Her tastes in music changed, she began working out early in the morning, and staying late at work.
She withdrew herself emotionally, and maternally, and I resisted it, going through every phase of depression, trying to salvage our relationship. I read countless self help books and encouraged her to read them with me. One night, I even attempted to read one of the books to her, only to realize that after I had finished the first chapter, she fell asleep. Eventually she moved out and left me with our son.
A month and a half after moving out she called me to say she got her own apartment and was coming to take our son. I had previously drawn a line in the sand that once crossed, would leave me with no choice but to file for divorce. She had just crossed that line. I switched gears from saving the marriage, to salvaging my time with our son. We just had our temporary hearing and I am fortunate enough to have him half of the school week, and she gets him on the weekends. Prior to her officially moving in her apartment, I hired a PI to see where she was staying, as she told me she was staying with a female coworker. He uncovered she was staying at one of her contractor's house and probably had been for a while. I even unknowingly let this man in my house as he was there with two other men to help her move her stuff out of my house.
So here we are now. We have been ordered to keep contact through Our Family Wizard, and the communication has actually been better than it has been in months. Unfortunately, our anniversary is tomorrow, and I can only imagine she will wake up tomorrow with him in her bed, or vice versa. The affair is finally taking its toll on me, as it never really seemed to bother me as of yet. Perhaps it is because I swallowed that bullet long before the affair was confirmed.
I am a man of faith, and was raised to ALWAYS forgive. I know that I can see past her trespasses, and I am always ready to reconcile. For me, it would also mean being able to spend every day with my son, a prize worth any sacrifice to me. I love his mother dearly, and still cannot process or begin to understand what she has done or how she is feeling. These last few months have only been a sliver of our life together, and I know forwardly thinking, would be an even smaller slice of our lives to come.
Words of encouragement would go a long way today as tomorrow unfolds. Until then....
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