I have been married to my husband for around 18 years now when we got together everything was good.I was married once before had a daughter her father never really tried to be in her life and she started calling him dad.I thought it was good everyone needs someone to call dad they had been always close eventually him and I had 2 children of our own.
I was the stay at home mother who cooked cleaned had a hot dinner waiting for him after work and a spotless house except for a few toys here and there the kids played with.I enjoyed every min of it and loved it very much.
A few years went by I started seeing a different side of him.To look in his eyes at times was dark and kind of scary.I learned to avoid him when I would see it.Not that he ever hit me or anything but his moods would just change.I always thought there was something he was keeping from me hiding I never asked him I chose to just stay out of it.
The first time I seen a dramatic change in his behavior was when he would tell me he was going for milk the gas station he would go to would be 5 blocks away but on Sundays it would take him 4 to 6 hours to get it.When he would come back I would ask him were he had been he would say getting milk.I never believed him there was no way it should have taken him even a half hour .I just told myself he needed time with his friends and was too scared to say anything.I needed to believe it cause the other option I had I didn't like.
A few years later we decided to get a computer I thought would be ok I loved playing games on them.We got our computer he would be on it well into the night at first it didn't bother me until he would find every excuse to not be with me.I would beg him to come to bed he would have any excuse not to leave the comp at times I would walk downstairs in the middle of the night to get a drink of water .He would be at the comp yelling at me to get out.
Once I pretended to be asleep on the couch the computer was facing opposite direction of me.I could see the screen and he was on it.I could read some of what he was writing.I seen the words she is sound asleep she can't see what is going on.
I am thinking what is he up too?Soon they had turned their cam on and he turned his on.I could see her on cam with a friend or lover whatever it was dunno It was pretty gross .
Soon it was all about the computer I would go downstairs and he would be pulling his pants up as fast as he could.Then I started noticing my worst fears.Letters to men conversations accidently left open.I needed to know what was going on so I hacked into his yahoo.I was shocked about what I had seen I confronted him about being gay he said he just enjoyed talking to them and it was nothing more.
I am not dumb why would you talk sex with someone if you were not interested?I tried to kick him out my youngest was crying I could not do that too her.We decided to work on our marriage.It worked out for awhile.
Soon though he would change again he would become very disrespectful towards me .He would make very imberrissing sexual jokes about me to other people it was not funny in any way it was very degrading and intentionaly hurtful just hearing it would make me want to vomit.I would talk to him tell him how bad what he said was hurting me and how sometimes it would make me cry.He didn't care and would say I was being over sensitive.I can joke with the best of them but these weren't jokes.
Last year I was attacked I won't go into detail I don't think this is the place to do it but it has takin a lot from me emotionally physically mentally.I do not dare go to him for comfort or support he looks at me with so much hate any healing I have done I had to do without any support from him.
For awhile now we have been sleeping in separate rooms.I just cannot stand to be around him judging me.He told me once that I probably deserved what had happened to me.
His attitude towards me has gotten to be cruel he tries to tear me down any chance he gets.He told me a few months ago he was bi but he still wants to stay married .I think he is using me to hide the fact he is.
The truth is I have always been a stay at home mother always took care of everyone .I have no skills with jobs.I would love to leave if I could start getting my life back on track.I need to learn how, do not know where to start.Heck at this point I would even go into housing something to help me get on my feet till I knew how to do it all myself.I am sorry this letter is so long and I cannot write worth a darn thanks for takin the time to read it.
I was the stay at home mother who cooked cleaned had a hot dinner waiting for him after work and a spotless house except for a few toys here and there the kids played with.I enjoyed every min of it and loved it very much.
A few years went by I started seeing a different side of him.To look in his eyes at times was dark and kind of scary.I learned to avoid him when I would see it.Not that he ever hit me or anything but his moods would just change.I always thought there was something he was keeping from me hiding I never asked him I chose to just stay out of it.
The first time I seen a dramatic change in his behavior was when he would tell me he was going for milk the gas station he would go to would be 5 blocks away but on Sundays it would take him 4 to 6 hours to get it.When he would come back I would ask him were he had been he would say getting milk.I never believed him there was no way it should have taken him even a half hour .I just told myself he needed time with his friends and was too scared to say anything.I needed to believe it cause the other option I had I didn't like.
A few years later we decided to get a computer I thought would be ok I loved playing games on them.We got our computer he would be on it well into the night at first it didn't bother me until he would find every excuse to not be with me.I would beg him to come to bed he would have any excuse not to leave the comp at times I would walk downstairs in the middle of the night to get a drink of water .He would be at the comp yelling at me to get out.
Once I pretended to be asleep on the couch the computer was facing opposite direction of me.I could see the screen and he was on it.I could read some of what he was writing.I seen the words she is sound asleep she can't see what is going on.
I am thinking what is he up too?Soon they had turned their cam on and he turned his on.I could see her on cam with a friend or lover whatever it was dunno It was pretty gross .
Soon it was all about the computer I would go downstairs and he would be pulling his pants up as fast as he could.Then I started noticing my worst fears.Letters to men conversations accidently left open.I needed to know what was going on so I hacked into his yahoo.I was shocked about what I had seen I confronted him about being gay he said he just enjoyed talking to them and it was nothing more.
I am not dumb why would you talk sex with someone if you were not interested?I tried to kick him out my youngest was crying I could not do that too her.We decided to work on our marriage.It worked out for awhile.
Soon though he would change again he would become very disrespectful towards me .He would make very imberrissing sexual jokes about me to other people it was not funny in any way it was very degrading and intentionaly hurtful just hearing it would make me want to vomit.I would talk to him tell him how bad what he said was hurting me and how sometimes it would make me cry.He didn't care and would say I was being over sensitive.I can joke with the best of them but these weren't jokes.
Last year I was attacked I won't go into detail I don't think this is the place to do it but it has takin a lot from me emotionally physically mentally.I do not dare go to him for comfort or support he looks at me with so much hate any healing I have done I had to do without any support from him.
For awhile now we have been sleeping in separate rooms.I just cannot stand to be around him judging me.He told me once that I probably deserved what had happened to me.
His attitude towards me has gotten to be cruel he tries to tear me down any chance he gets.He told me a few months ago he was bi but he still wants to stay married .I think he is using me to hide the fact he is.
The truth is I have always been a stay at home mother always took care of everyone .I have no skills with jobs.I would love to leave if I could start getting my life back on track.I need to learn how, do not know where to start.Heck at this point I would even go into housing something to help me get on my feet till I knew how to do it all myself.I am sorry this letter is so long and I cannot write worth a darn thanks for takin the time to read it.
Put the internet to work for you.
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