I've seen a lot of posts here talking about how transparency when it comes to social media, cellphones (etc) is ideal in relationships. This isn't something I agree nor disagree with, I don't really think about it. This is partially because my husband has never made an effort to hide anything from me, partially because I have never had any concerns about infidelity.
When my husband found out I used TAM, he (jokingly) asked if I was talking sh*t about him, because people only join these kinds of forums when they're having problems in their relationships. This was kind of true for me, although our relationship wasn't the problem - I joined about a dozen relationship/pregnancy forums at the time because I was unsure how to break the news of impending doom (babies #6 and #7, in the end I never asked for advice and sent him a text instead because that's the way of the hip, modern coward). I stuck around here because I like talking and reading about other people's lives.
And I think a lot of people here are in the same boat as me, but not everyone. Some people here are in seriously crummy situations - or not, but they're definitely not posting about how great their marriage is, or they're posting details about their relationship that not every person would want out on the internet.
I definitely think people have a right to privacy and a right to seek advice in a safe environment without interference, but I wonder if the "access all areas" rule extends this far? Does your spouse know you post here? Do they know what you post here? If not, why not? Do you think they would have a problem with what you were posting? If they used the forum, would you expect to have access to their account?
When my husband found out I used TAM, he (jokingly) asked if I was talking sh*t about him, because people only join these kinds of forums when they're having problems in their relationships. This was kind of true for me, although our relationship wasn't the problem - I joined about a dozen relationship/pregnancy forums at the time because I was unsure how to break the news of impending doom (babies #6 and #7, in the end I never asked for advice and sent him a text instead because that's the way of the hip, modern coward). I stuck around here because I like talking and reading about other people's lives.
And I think a lot of people here are in the same boat as me, but not everyone. Some people here are in seriously crummy situations - or not, but they're definitely not posting about how great their marriage is, or they're posting details about their relationship that not every person would want out on the internet.
I definitely think people have a right to privacy and a right to seek advice in a safe environment without interference, but I wonder if the "access all areas" rule extends this far? Does your spouse know you post here? Do they know what you post here? If not, why not? Do you think they would have a problem with what you were posting? If they used the forum, would you expect to have access to their account?
Put the internet to work for you.
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