I am recently separated from my husband. I am 26yrs old, we have been married for 2yrs, and we have a 10mth old daughter together. He is pushing for a divorce, and I am doing everything in my power to stop it. I don't want a divorce and I have offered up as many solutions as I can think of to help repair our marriage. There has been no lies or infidelity (I think), we just fight ALL the time. We are living apart, even though I have yet to move my belongings out of our apt. I feel that he is extremely selfish, and puts his own wants/needs/desires before myself or our daughter.
Over the last 2 years, we've gone through things that most people don't go through in a lifetime. He was active military, finished his service, had a baby, moved across the country back to our hometown, and he started college fulltime. Financially, physically, and emotionally, we have been put through the ringer. We finally got our own apt, and I landed a great stable job. But since he has started college, he has surrounded himself with 18-21yr olds, with no responsibilities, and he idolizes them. He wants his independence and freedom. He is constantly texting and adding young, beautiful girls that he meets at college to his social media accounts. And it bothers me, really really bothers me. I find it disrespectful and it plants doubt in my head.
On mother's day (my first one ever), he told me that he didn't get me anything to mark the occasion because he couldn't find it in his heart to do something nice for me. He then calmly proceeded to tell me that a large part of him hates and resents me. I was shocked, and destroyed. I packed a large suitcase and left, and he never asked me to stay.
We've been apart since. At first I was in panic mode, calling and bothering him constantly. Then I realized that wasn't doing me any good. So I changed my approach. I dove into work, became more social, and distanced myself from him, in the hopes that he would miss me. Not so much. If I don't call or text him, I don't hear from him. When we do speak, he talks to me with disgust and anger. It is absolutely breaking my heart. I remain calm and sweet, despite numerous hurtful rejections from him.
At what point do I give up? His rejections are really taking an emotional toll on me. I work full time, and when I'm not at work, I'm a full time mom. I find it hard to focus on anything. I know our marriage isn't beyond repair, but he thinks it is, and that people never change. I can't get him to even consider doing something proactive to fix us. Just when I think he's totally checked out from us, he says something sweet to me, invites me over for dinner, or we have a great conversation, and it pulls me right back into having hope. He hasn't made any moves yet, we still have only a joint bank account, and have shared everything. He says he hasn't talked to an attorney yet, but I don't know how true that is. He is stalling and I'm not too sure why (probably because he's too lazy to do the legwork). His words and actions are that he is done with me, and the only future he sees is one without me.
What should I do? Do I give up, and make my own moves, thus starting the divorce process that I don't want. Or wait for him to make a move, which could drag out for a long time. How do I know that its time? And how the hell do I let go of him? I still have to see him & communicate all the time because we have a young baby together.
Over the last 2 years, we've gone through things that most people don't go through in a lifetime. He was active military, finished his service, had a baby, moved across the country back to our hometown, and he started college fulltime. Financially, physically, and emotionally, we have been put through the ringer. We finally got our own apt, and I landed a great stable job. But since he has started college, he has surrounded himself with 18-21yr olds, with no responsibilities, and he idolizes them. He wants his independence and freedom. He is constantly texting and adding young, beautiful girls that he meets at college to his social media accounts. And it bothers me, really really bothers me. I find it disrespectful and it plants doubt in my head.
On mother's day (my first one ever), he told me that he didn't get me anything to mark the occasion because he couldn't find it in his heart to do something nice for me. He then calmly proceeded to tell me that a large part of him hates and resents me. I was shocked, and destroyed. I packed a large suitcase and left, and he never asked me to stay.
We've been apart since. At first I was in panic mode, calling and bothering him constantly. Then I realized that wasn't doing me any good. So I changed my approach. I dove into work, became more social, and distanced myself from him, in the hopes that he would miss me. Not so much. If I don't call or text him, I don't hear from him. When we do speak, he talks to me with disgust and anger. It is absolutely breaking my heart. I remain calm and sweet, despite numerous hurtful rejections from him.
At what point do I give up? His rejections are really taking an emotional toll on me. I work full time, and when I'm not at work, I'm a full time mom. I find it hard to focus on anything. I know our marriage isn't beyond repair, but he thinks it is, and that people never change. I can't get him to even consider doing something proactive to fix us. Just when I think he's totally checked out from us, he says something sweet to me, invites me over for dinner, or we have a great conversation, and it pulls me right back into having hope. He hasn't made any moves yet, we still have only a joint bank account, and have shared everything. He says he hasn't talked to an attorney yet, but I don't know how true that is. He is stalling and I'm not too sure why (probably because he's too lazy to do the legwork). His words and actions are that he is done with me, and the only future he sees is one without me.
What should I do? Do I give up, and make my own moves, thus starting the divorce process that I don't want. Or wait for him to make a move, which could drag out for a long time. How do I know that its time? And how the hell do I let go of him? I still have to see him & communicate all the time because we have a young baby together.
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