My wife Dawn and I dated 1976-1978 in High school. I'm 54 she is 51. I grew up as an alcoholic since the fifth grade. At the time I thought it was normal. I grew up in Chicago. I let her down many times because of it, she met someone else and left me. I was devastated. Inn 1988 I became sober (and still am). And at that time I realized Dawn left me because of the alcohol. I wanted to apologize, but thought I would never see her again. She was the one I let get away.
Fast forward to 2009....with the development of the PC and social sites, I get a message on LinkedIn from Dawn! I can't explain how happy I was. And confused with feelings. She was planning to get divorced from a 15 year relationship. We wrote each other daily. I was torn, I was engaged to Roseann, a 10 year relationship. Long story short, we left our SO's got married and are living in my home.
Dawn is wonderful in a million ways. I am quiet and introverted, she is more outgoing which helps me. She helped me organize my life. She goes to my doctor appointments with me and asks questions. We're both religious Christians.. sex life is over top top best ever!! We found closure on the bad relationship in HS. Dawn helps me be a better person every day. I want to be with her forever.
2010....I lose my job. Never been unemployed before that. A month goes by and I got one offer. The job was in Florida with a former employer. At the time Dawns two children 18 and 20 at the time were still not set I life. Her daughter was living with her father. Her son was working part time and seasonal jobs and living with two roommates. My daughter 24 at the time as with a longtime boyfriend. They later were married. I felt it was too big of a chance to go to Florida while our kids were so young. Also, felt I wanted to see if I could get hired locally. Dawn wanted me to take the job. I decided not to take the job.
Long story short, over the next few years, I only had a couple of temporary 90 day employments. Dawn has had two full time jobs during this time. She's gown to resent me because I didn't take that Florida job. Also, she developed guilt for leaving her ex-husband. She says leaving was the right thing, she just has some guilt leaving him alone. Every day she is bitter. Our extraordinary sex life vanished. We have sex about once a week. She has ups and downs. Sometimes things are good for a while. Then bam, she thinks about me turning down the job and is bitter again. at one time she said she doesn't feel in love with me anymore. She doesn't initiate any contact or I love you's. No spooning! I give great back massages. She'll ask for a message, which calculates, I get sex. Most of the time we speak well and live well with each other but without her love back to me...I'm running out of options. I'm the type that likes to give a lot of love and affection and reall y feel sad and unloved at times.
I can add a lot more, but this is my dilemma. I want her to let go of the Florida job rejection. Forgive and move on in life. Not working doesn't help that. Her son still depends on her a lot. He doesn't want a real full time job. If we moved to Florida, he would probably be living with us, which is not what I want. We've gone to some counseling. Neither of us go too much out of it. She say's she has come to terms with her guilt of leaving her ex-husband.
ANY suggestions are welcome....thanks!
Fast forward to 2009....with the development of the PC and social sites, I get a message on LinkedIn from Dawn! I can't explain how happy I was. And confused with feelings. She was planning to get divorced from a 15 year relationship. We wrote each other daily. I was torn, I was engaged to Roseann, a 10 year relationship. Long story short, we left our SO's got married and are living in my home.
Dawn is wonderful in a million ways. I am quiet and introverted, she is more outgoing which helps me. She helped me organize my life. She goes to my doctor appointments with me and asks questions. We're both religious Christians.. sex life is over top top best ever!! We found closure on the bad relationship in HS. Dawn helps me be a better person every day. I want to be with her forever.
2010....I lose my job. Never been unemployed before that. A month goes by and I got one offer. The job was in Florida with a former employer. At the time Dawns two children 18 and 20 at the time were still not set I life. Her daughter was living with her father. Her son was working part time and seasonal jobs and living with two roommates. My daughter 24 at the time as with a longtime boyfriend. They later were married. I felt it was too big of a chance to go to Florida while our kids were so young. Also, felt I wanted to see if I could get hired locally. Dawn wanted me to take the job. I decided not to take the job.
Long story short, over the next few years, I only had a couple of temporary 90 day employments. Dawn has had two full time jobs during this time. She's gown to resent me because I didn't take that Florida job. Also, she developed guilt for leaving her ex-husband. She says leaving was the right thing, she just has some guilt leaving him alone. Every day she is bitter. Our extraordinary sex life vanished. We have sex about once a week. She has ups and downs. Sometimes things are good for a while. Then bam, she thinks about me turning down the job and is bitter again. at one time she said she doesn't feel in love with me anymore. She doesn't initiate any contact or I love you's. No spooning! I give great back massages. She'll ask for a message, which calculates, I get sex. Most of the time we speak well and live well with each other but without her love back to me...I'm running out of options. I'm the type that likes to give a lot of love and affection and reall y feel sad and unloved at times.
I can add a lot more, but this is my dilemma. I want her to let go of the Florida job rejection. Forgive and move on in life. Not working doesn't help that. Her son still depends on her a lot. He doesn't want a real full time job. If we moved to Florida, he would probably be living with us, which is not what I want. We've gone to some counseling. Neither of us go too much out of it. She say's she has come to terms with her guilt of leaving her ex-husband.
ANY suggestions are welcome....thanks!
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