We have been married for 16 years. A few years ago, I caught my husband texting another woman and found naked pictures of her on his phone. She was local and I met her once. I also found very inappropriate pictures of women he had never met. Relationships were not physical - at least I chose to believe him when he said so. Very difficult to go thru but I forgave him (did not forget - never will). Fast-forward almost 2 years later. Read a very inappropriate text exchange on his phone with another woman whom we both know. He insisted it was a joke he was playing on a friend. Long story short, he got her to send him a picture of her in a bikini and showed the pic to his buddy to say "see I am sleeping with her on the side". Then he proceeded to text to her things like "I told him we have been f***ing for months". And she came back with "no, tell him we have been f***ing for years!". I saw the conversation and hit the roof. Took his phone and wou ld not give it back. Made him un-friend her on FB. Allowed him to explain his way thru it and accepted her apology when she called me to say she was sorry and that it was just a joke. The minute after he found out she apologized to me, he re-friended her on FB. I was not happy about it but I didn't make a big deal out of it because I really don't want to be the jealous and insecure wife. Also, he has now locked his phone so I can't see what he does/has on it. I have since found out that they have continued to correspond electronically AND in person - she works at our bank and he makes the deposits there almost daily. Girls, I know what you are going to say - run for the hills. Get out now. But GUYS, I really need to hear from you. I need the male perspective on this....he insists that he has never cheated on me. He does not view this electronic (and in-person) flirting as infidelity. He says that he wants the attention of other women so that he can feel an ego b oost of sorts. He has made no secret of the fact that he fantasizes about having sex with other women. If I would give him permission, he would do it. I told him I will NEVER give him permission. I was really struggling to trust him again after what happened 2 years ago, and then "episode 2" happened starting about 3 months ago. I feel like he totally pulled the rug out from under me AGAIN and I am so hurt. We have 2 kids 6 and 11. I am struggling with the prospect of having to "put up with" this type of behavior for the sake of keeping my family together. He knows what he's doing is wrong, but he feels a sense of "entitlement" to do it because he has provided a wonderful "material" life for me and the kids. We do not live paycheck to paycheck. We have a nice house and drive nice cars. He has met my PHYSICAL/MATERIAL/FINANCIAL needs, but does that give him the right to discard my EMOTIONAL need to trust him? I feel like he is on a slippery slope when he flirts with these women, he is going to put himself in a situation where he will have the opportunity to cheat, and he just might do it.....and I will never know about it.......and then he will start living this "double life" that so many men do.....Guys, give me some feedback......
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