Dh and I have been married 10 years. We have 3 kids. Dh has several advanced degrees. He's a Democrat. We are active in our mainline Protestant church. We live in a liberal, racially diverse suburb of NYC.
With this background, I am shocked and kind of appalled that Dh is expressing more and more racist views, often in front of the kids. He uses racist slurs, sometimes within earshot of others on the playground or at the kids' school. Sometimes he seems to be joking, but I can't figure out what's going on. I've tried to bring it up gently, that I don't like these ideas or language. He won't have a reasonable conversation about it, and he doesn't want to change his mind, and he's indignant when I bring it up. But, frankly, it's deeply embarrassing to me, and I'm terrified the kids will repeat this stuff at school, or my friends will find out his views. I don't want to jeopardize my (otherwise good) relationship, but I'm sick of hearing this garbage. What do I do??
With this background, I am shocked and kind of appalled that Dh is expressing more and more racist views, often in front of the kids. He uses racist slurs, sometimes within earshot of others on the playground or at the kids' school. Sometimes he seems to be joking, but I can't figure out what's going on. I've tried to bring it up gently, that I don't like these ideas or language. He won't have a reasonable conversation about it, and he doesn't want to change his mind, and he's indignant when I bring it up. But, frankly, it's deeply embarrassing to me, and I'm terrified the kids will repeat this stuff at school, or my friends will find out his views. I don't want to jeopardize my (otherwise good) relationship, but I'm sick of hearing this garbage. What do I do??
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