I am new to these forums and am looking for a place to get some advice on how to cope with jealousy, and what I perceive as an overreaction to certain events.
I have been married to my wife for 5+ years, together for 7. Jealousy has always been the most stress inducing aspect of our relationship, and this has to do with her past marriage where the husband cheated on her, along with a rocky childhood. I myself am not an overly jealous person, and sure I can feel the tinge of jealousy every now and then, but for the most part, I'm a pretty easy going person.
Recently this jealousy has really been causing a strain on our relationship where words like "divorce", "hate", "tired", and "end" are creeping into our everyday vocabulary. I am at my wit's end with this and don't know what to do. She is very stubborn in the way that she thinks she has a right to be jealous, and she has a right to question me almost daily about my actions and what I'm doing.
The most recent example I can cite has to do with my career. I have been in sales and marketing for 17 years, so 10 years longer than I have known my wife. This requires me to network and do business with both sexes, and I do not discriminate, so I will do business with you regardless of your gender, race, culture, background, etc. as long as it's beneficial to both parties. My wife does not seem to understand why I have to "socialize" as she likes to call it with other women. What I do is network. I do not flirt, I do not lead on, I am strictly all business and professional when I speak with a woman. She does not get this and believes all I want to do is cheat on her with someone I do business with.
Things get especially bad when I have to go on a business trip. I ask her for her support because I hate going on business trips, but instead she has gone so far as to accuse me of cheating on her based on a picture that I sent her of me standing at my booth (I looked really tired she said, so I must have gone out with someone the night before, forgetting that she had kept me up on the phone past midnight refusing to let me go because she was so scared I was going to go out).
I could literally write a book about her jealousy and how it affects our relationship but for the sake of this forum I was hoping just to start somewhere.
Now let me be honest here, I am not the perfect husband, far from it. I get very mad easily as I have an anger problem, and my anger boils to its height when her jealousy rears its ugly head again, and I start yelling and getting very aggressive. I have never hit her (and I never will), but I do get extremely angry and I know it's not the right response, but 7 years is a long time, and I just can't deal with it anymore. I was better in the beginning, but I was just hoping that after this amount of time, things would get better, but instead it seems to be getting worse.
Help anyone?
I have been married to my wife for 5+ years, together for 7. Jealousy has always been the most stress inducing aspect of our relationship, and this has to do with her past marriage where the husband cheated on her, along with a rocky childhood. I myself am not an overly jealous person, and sure I can feel the tinge of jealousy every now and then, but for the most part, I'm a pretty easy going person.
Recently this jealousy has really been causing a strain on our relationship where words like "divorce", "hate", "tired", and "end" are creeping into our everyday vocabulary. I am at my wit's end with this and don't know what to do. She is very stubborn in the way that she thinks she has a right to be jealous, and she has a right to question me almost daily about my actions and what I'm doing.
The most recent example I can cite has to do with my career. I have been in sales and marketing for 17 years, so 10 years longer than I have known my wife. This requires me to network and do business with both sexes, and I do not discriminate, so I will do business with you regardless of your gender, race, culture, background, etc. as long as it's beneficial to both parties. My wife does not seem to understand why I have to "socialize" as she likes to call it with other women. What I do is network. I do not flirt, I do not lead on, I am strictly all business and professional when I speak with a woman. She does not get this and believes all I want to do is cheat on her with someone I do business with.
Things get especially bad when I have to go on a business trip. I ask her for her support because I hate going on business trips, but instead she has gone so far as to accuse me of cheating on her based on a picture that I sent her of me standing at my booth (I looked really tired she said, so I must have gone out with someone the night before, forgetting that she had kept me up on the phone past midnight refusing to let me go because she was so scared I was going to go out).
I could literally write a book about her jealousy and how it affects our relationship but for the sake of this forum I was hoping just to start somewhere.
Now let me be honest here, I am not the perfect husband, far from it. I get very mad easily as I have an anger problem, and my anger boils to its height when her jealousy rears its ugly head again, and I start yelling and getting very aggressive. I have never hit her (and I never will), but I do get extremely angry and I know it's not the right response, but 7 years is a long time, and I just can't deal with it anymore. I was better in the beginning, but I was just hoping that after this amount of time, things would get better, but instead it seems to be getting worse.
Help anyone?
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