I need an objective opinion! (I apologize for the long post).
Basics: married to H for 13 years; 2 kids under 6yrs;very thoughtful & respectful with us; is very friendly with everyone he meets (men & women).
I took a quick look (I never had before; I wanted to respect his privacy) at H's phone and saw hundreds of texts to/from a female friend. He never deleted the log.
The texts are not inappropriate at all. But my heart raced when I saw the frequency and times: about 30 every 2 or 3 days, sometimes starting before 8am, while he is still home. A lot of days she was the first person he texted or she texted him. Then I saw the call log: they call each other about 8:30am every other day; then again at lunch and then at end of day; some last 10 minutes some 30. You can tell when he has called and maybe not gotten an answer because there will be about 3-4 calls back to back until he gets a hold of her and they chat for about 20 minutes or so.
She is a clerk and he has to see her at least once a week for work purposes. Over the years we have gone out to dinner together with her and her husband. I just never knew they had this much contact.
He agreed to stop. I checked on the account on-line and saw that they did stop texting as much but now they were talking on the phone even longer. We had arguments and he started deleting texts after I asked him not to do so. Then he lied about deleting them. After about a month of living in a pain and a fog, I told him I just needed time and space. I couldn't deal with the lying. After many emotional long talks and lots of crying, he agreed to stop contacting her. But because of work, he cannot cut off all communication. Again, he has to see her once a week, every week. He always said they were never inappropriate and showed me his phone. But they were leaving music voice messages to each other; and referring to each other by movie character names (nothing sexual); are we 13years old?!
Now, I can't stop obsessing over this. I checked and she has e-mailed about random things. She has asked that he give her 'a buzz' about work stuff. Now she is talking to his father about taking some religious course with him; and of course, she would like to talk about the class with H (but he doesn't volunteer this info). I've checked the online account, and he has called her office maybe 1 or 2 times very briefly in the last month but nothing else. He insists they are/were just friends and nothing else; that it only bothered me.
Is she just a good friend? or something else?
Basics: married to H for 13 years; 2 kids under 6yrs;very thoughtful & respectful with us; is very friendly with everyone he meets (men & women).
I took a quick look (I never had before; I wanted to respect his privacy) at H's phone and saw hundreds of texts to/from a female friend. He never deleted the log.
The texts are not inappropriate at all. But my heart raced when I saw the frequency and times: about 30 every 2 or 3 days, sometimes starting before 8am, while he is still home. A lot of days she was the first person he texted or she texted him. Then I saw the call log: they call each other about 8:30am every other day; then again at lunch and then at end of day; some last 10 minutes some 30. You can tell when he has called and maybe not gotten an answer because there will be about 3-4 calls back to back until he gets a hold of her and they chat for about 20 minutes or so.
She is a clerk and he has to see her at least once a week for work purposes. Over the years we have gone out to dinner together with her and her husband. I just never knew they had this much contact.
He agreed to stop. I checked on the account on-line and saw that they did stop texting as much but now they were talking on the phone even longer. We had arguments and he started deleting texts after I asked him not to do so. Then he lied about deleting them. After about a month of living in a pain and a fog, I told him I just needed time and space. I couldn't deal with the lying. After many emotional long talks and lots of crying, he agreed to stop contacting her. But because of work, he cannot cut off all communication. Again, he has to see her once a week, every week. He always said they were never inappropriate and showed me his phone. But they were leaving music voice messages to each other; and referring to each other by movie character names (nothing sexual); are we 13years old?!
Now, I can't stop obsessing over this. I checked and she has e-mailed about random things. She has asked that he give her 'a buzz' about work stuff. Now she is talking to his father about taking some religious course with him; and of course, she would like to talk about the class with H (but he doesn't volunteer this info). I've checked the online account, and he has called her office maybe 1 or 2 times very briefly in the last month but nothing else. He insists they are/were just friends and nothing else; that it only bothered me.
Is she just a good friend? or something else?
Put the internet to work for you.
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