What about blended families....

I have posted earlier about my H leaving and I have been reading through many of your stories. It has been a month since he has been gone. We were together for 6 years married almost 4. I have 2 children 14 D and an 18 S, he has an 11 S and 7 D from previous relationships and 1 a 4 yrs old son (who is autistic) together. My two live with us full time, well my son is attending college so this past year he has been on campus. My husband has claimed to love them like his own but since he's been gone he hasn't had any contact. He and my 14 were close, I think she was closer to him than her Bio dad. So today he dropped off our son the 4th time he has taken him since he left and his kids wanted to say hi to her. He has a visitation schedule that gives him scheduled time with his 2 children. Anyway my D goes out and it is akward my H asked how much more quieter it must be? It upset her when she came back in. She has shared a room with "her sister" her words, not mine for 5 years and she is just supposed to stop. I don't know what to do. I can't talk to my husband he has no idea what is going on here. Our son s outbursts have left me with bruises bc he can't communicate well.
I have been doing the 180 plan and it helping my mood but I don't know what to do about anything else? The children we had a plan with our son but I don't think I should have to tell a grown man to get him. Any suggestions, help?

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