Ok, quick back story recap.
Dec. 2011 found out she was having an EA with an online gaming person. I forgave (rugswept) and tried to work it out.
Gaslighting from Dec. 2011 - Oct. 2012 (explanation below)
(she never seemed really engaged to come back to the marriage, while I bent over backwards to try and make it work)
Aug 2012- she stated she was done and wanted a divorce. Also proceeds to tell me that she no longer sees me as a husband or lover. In October, I come to find out she not only did not end the EA back in Dec., but in fact had been looking at apartments and he was expecting to fly out to stay with her in Dec. 2012. There are tears and suicide threats when i confront her with the information ( I had all text, photos and emails at this point)
Oct 2012- She moves out and we begin the 1 year separation requirement needed for divorce.
I do the 180 trying to heal and become strong for me and our contact was literally only 6 different occasions in a 17 month period.
*Divorce was filed for in March 2014 / Court date is Scheduled for September*
This past weekend (July 25-26th) we both are in attendance to a mutual friends wedding, (the bride). We separately agreed to the bride that neither of us will bring a date (first to keep drama to a minimum and 2nd to help the bride with keeping cost down).
The wedding is a small beautiful ceremony, and I was cordial to the STBXW, but not generally distant and not overly friendly. I had to leave the wedding for another event I had that day and was saying goodbye to a few friends who were also in attendance. The STBXW then ask, if she can walk me to my car.....I am at first skeptical, but then agreed as I thought no harm could come of it.
On our way to the car, we exchange information on what is happening to various family members and pretty much just catching up on a superficial level. At The end of the conversation she ask me if I am ok? I proceed to say yes and give a standard non emotional answer of "just working and finishing school." I ask her how she is doing to return the question and she then turns to me and says the following:
" I am not ok." I inquire further why she is not ok.....( I know this was her opening, but I took it for what it was and proceeded to listen)
She further says the following: " I miss you and I miss us. even though we are not together, I worry about you all the time and the time we did have together was not all bad. You also give the best hugs! I do miss you, and I know you no longer want me. I know the real reason....I could never been enough woman for you, but its ok." She then proceeds to go back to the wedding reception.
I was perplexed by her statements and the question I have for the forum.
WTF would she say that to me? what was her purpose in all of that? Is this some twisted way to gauge my interest or should I just continue down the no contact road and wait for September?
I look forward to hearing from everyone
Dec. 2011 found out she was having an EA with an online gaming person. I forgave (rugswept) and tried to work it out.
Gaslighting from Dec. 2011 - Oct. 2012 (explanation below)
(she never seemed really engaged to come back to the marriage, while I bent over backwards to try and make it work)
Aug 2012- she stated she was done and wanted a divorce. Also proceeds to tell me that she no longer sees me as a husband or lover. In October, I come to find out she not only did not end the EA back in Dec., but in fact had been looking at apartments and he was expecting to fly out to stay with her in Dec. 2012. There are tears and suicide threats when i confront her with the information ( I had all text, photos and emails at this point)
Oct 2012- She moves out and we begin the 1 year separation requirement needed for divorce.
I do the 180 trying to heal and become strong for me and our contact was literally only 6 different occasions in a 17 month period.
*Divorce was filed for in March 2014 / Court date is Scheduled for September*
This past weekend (July 25-26th) we both are in attendance to a mutual friends wedding, (the bride). We separately agreed to the bride that neither of us will bring a date (first to keep drama to a minimum and 2nd to help the bride with keeping cost down).
The wedding is a small beautiful ceremony, and I was cordial to the STBXW, but not generally distant and not overly friendly. I had to leave the wedding for another event I had that day and was saying goodbye to a few friends who were also in attendance. The STBXW then ask, if she can walk me to my car.....I am at first skeptical, but then agreed as I thought no harm could come of it.
On our way to the car, we exchange information on what is happening to various family members and pretty much just catching up on a superficial level. At The end of the conversation she ask me if I am ok? I proceed to say yes and give a standard non emotional answer of "just working and finishing school." I ask her how she is doing to return the question and she then turns to me and says the following:
" I am not ok." I inquire further why she is not ok.....( I know this was her opening, but I took it for what it was and proceeded to listen)
She further says the following: " I miss you and I miss us. even though we are not together, I worry about you all the time and the time we did have together was not all bad. You also give the best hugs! I do miss you, and I know you no longer want me. I know the real reason....I could never been enough woman for you, but its ok." She then proceeds to go back to the wedding reception.
I was perplexed by her statements and the question I have for the forum.
WTF would she say that to me? what was her purpose in all of that? Is this some twisted way to gauge my interest or should I just continue down the no contact road and wait for September?
I look forward to hearing from everyone
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment