So my wife and I have been together for about three years, married for one. The woman I fell in love with was sexy and fun. Unfortunately, the sex was never great. Over the past three years it's went from bad to worse to virtually non existent. We've literally gone months without doing it.
Again, this has been a problem from the beginning. I decided to marry her because everything else is perfect. We make an awesome team, have similar goals and values, and we communicate well (sometimes). I'm very aware that finding the perfect woman is never going to happen and that there has to be a give and take. After much thought and weighing the good and the bad, I figured she was just about as close to perfect as I was gonna get.
So the sex thing.....first off, BJs are and always have been absolutely out of the question. She refuses. Second, she has literally NO sex drive. I think we could just never do it again and she'd be ok with that. (Minus the once or twice to make babies).
When we actually do have sex, she lays there. Literally. The ONLY way she lets me do it is with her laying on her side with me behind her. Her getting on top or anything else is not gonna happen. She lays there motionless. The only times she does anything at all is to complain that I'm grabbing too hard or something. She even gripes if I wanna kiss her while we do it. I usually can't touch her boobs either. It makes it feel like some weird alien insemination or science experiment.
On top of that, since the birth of our child, she's put on weight and kept it on. She doesn't take care of herself. She has terrible eating habits and smokes.
I'm a person who's very aware of physical fitness and I do my best to take care of myself. I know it's rotten to think this way, but when were out shopping and I see sexy moms out there pushing strollers with babies around the same age as mine, then look at my sloppy, boring wife, I get pissed. I can't help but thinking, "dude I'm not getting any younger, and I'd really hate to die without getting one more good BJ".
I know, I know. I'm a shallow, terrible, selfish person. Really I am. So, any suggestions?
Again, this has been a problem from the beginning. I decided to marry her because everything else is perfect. We make an awesome team, have similar goals and values, and we communicate well (sometimes). I'm very aware that finding the perfect woman is never going to happen and that there has to be a give and take. After much thought and weighing the good and the bad, I figured she was just about as close to perfect as I was gonna get.
So the sex thing.....first off, BJs are and always have been absolutely out of the question. She refuses. Second, she has literally NO sex drive. I think we could just never do it again and she'd be ok with that. (Minus the once or twice to make babies).
When we actually do have sex, she lays there. Literally. The ONLY way she lets me do it is with her laying on her side with me behind her. Her getting on top or anything else is not gonna happen. She lays there motionless. The only times she does anything at all is to complain that I'm grabbing too hard or something. She even gripes if I wanna kiss her while we do it. I usually can't touch her boobs either. It makes it feel like some weird alien insemination or science experiment.
On top of that, since the birth of our child, she's put on weight and kept it on. She doesn't take care of herself. She has terrible eating habits and smokes.
I'm a person who's very aware of physical fitness and I do my best to take care of myself. I know it's rotten to think this way, but when were out shopping and I see sexy moms out there pushing strollers with babies around the same age as mine, then look at my sloppy, boring wife, I get pissed. I can't help but thinking, "dude I'm not getting any younger, and I'd really hate to die without getting one more good BJ".
I know, I know. I'm a shallow, terrible, selfish person. Really I am. So, any suggestions?
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