My boyfriend and I have been living together for almost 2 years. We have a joint checking account, we have talked about the future together, etc.
However, I broke up with his this morning mostly because he refuses to say "I love you". He has said it to me twice in 2 years although I have repeatedly told him how important it is to hear those 3 words. His response is he shows me by his actions that he loves me so he should'nt have to say it. I've told him many times that words are my love language and I need to be reassured by words that he loves me.
This is what I told him this morning:
"The only conclusion I can come to is that you don't want to say I love you is because you don't. Like I said Do I think you love me "Yes" like you love your family perhaps. Do I think you are "in love with me" No! Otherwise it wouldn't be an issue for you.
The sad thing is your just a great person and we get along so good for the most part but I have this resentment now that I don't know what to do with.
Like you said I shouldn't force you to say something you don't want to say but it's a deal breaker for me.
Do I want you to say those words to me now "No, not at all" because you wouldn't mean them.
Are you good to me Yes but like I said emotionally I need more and since your not willing to bend then I think we should go our separate ways. I don't want to feel guilty for wasting you time when nothings going to change. I'm sorry but I need more than your willing to give.
Yes, your feelings do matter so I don't want you to say anything your not willing to say with your heart."
So why am I feeling so guilty for breaking up with him? It's obvious our relationship wasn't important enough to him to meet my simple need for reassurance of those 3 words.
It's just so sad.
:confused:
However, I broke up with his this morning mostly because he refuses to say "I love you". He has said it to me twice in 2 years although I have repeatedly told him how important it is to hear those 3 words. His response is he shows me by his actions that he loves me so he should'nt have to say it. I've told him many times that words are my love language and I need to be reassured by words that he loves me.
This is what I told him this morning:
"The only conclusion I can come to is that you don't want to say I love you is because you don't. Like I said Do I think you love me "Yes" like you love your family perhaps. Do I think you are "in love with me" No! Otherwise it wouldn't be an issue for you.
The sad thing is your just a great person and we get along so good for the most part but I have this resentment now that I don't know what to do with.
Like you said I shouldn't force you to say something you don't want to say but it's a deal breaker for me.
Do I want you to say those words to me now "No, not at all" because you wouldn't mean them.
Are you good to me Yes but like I said emotionally I need more and since your not willing to bend then I think we should go our separate ways. I don't want to feel guilty for wasting you time when nothings going to change. I'm sorry but I need more than your willing to give.
Yes, your feelings do matter so I don't want you to say anything your not willing to say with your heart."
So why am I feeling so guilty for breaking up with him? It's obvious our relationship wasn't important enough to him to meet my simple need for reassurance of those 3 words.
It's just so sad.
:confused:
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