I have a friend who I fear his marriage is going down the dark side.
He saw everything I went though and experienced and I am doing my best to have him make any of the mistakes I did.
One thing I have noticed is that his wife will blame HIM for how she feels.
"You made me feel worthless." "You made me feel used." "You made me feel bad about my image."
And so on.
The problem I warned him of is the psychobabblists will often validate her by instructing him, "Well, whether you intended it or not, you made her feel that way so this is a shared problem. You need to be concerned for her feelings." (a platitude)
I feel that's very bad policy and reminds me of what Bill Clinton said of Trayvon Martin - basing any kind of policy (whether law or marriage) on how someone "feels" is bad policy.
"You felt threatened so you gunned him down? Well, there you have it. . .no more to it than that." (I know the Martin case was more complicated than that, but still I feel Bill Clinton was right on basing law on feelings is BAD LAW).
Feelings are unverifiable, unexplainable, based on the time of the month, hormones, horny or not, star alignment. . .
"You felt worthless because he made a side comment? Well, there you have it. . .he must be some kind of ogre." I have him steer clear of that trap in marital therapy.
What other bad psychobabbling have you out there endured? (I have had good and bad)
He saw everything I went though and experienced and I am doing my best to have him make any of the mistakes I did.
One thing I have noticed is that his wife will blame HIM for how she feels.
"You made me feel worthless." "You made me feel used." "You made me feel bad about my image."
And so on.
The problem I warned him of is the psychobabblists will often validate her by instructing him, "Well, whether you intended it or not, you made her feel that way so this is a shared problem. You need to be concerned for her feelings." (a platitude)
I feel that's very bad policy and reminds me of what Bill Clinton said of Trayvon Martin - basing any kind of policy (whether law or marriage) on how someone "feels" is bad policy.
"You felt threatened so you gunned him down? Well, there you have it. . .no more to it than that." (I know the Martin case was more complicated than that, but still I feel Bill Clinton was right on basing law on feelings is BAD LAW).
Feelings are unverifiable, unexplainable, based on the time of the month, hormones, horny or not, star alignment. . .
"You felt worthless because he made a side comment? Well, there you have it. . .he must be some kind of ogre." I have him steer clear of that trap in marital therapy.
What other bad psychobabbling have you out there endured? (I have had good and bad)
Put the internet to work for you.
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