I've been visiting this forum from time to time and enjoy it for its entertainment value, although I feel a bit guilty even admitting that. Its almost soap opera-like stories are riveting I must admit.
Anyway, I have a question and felt like this forum, more than any other, could help. My W and I have been married for almost 29 years (most of them happily) and I have never suspected her of any infidelity. Having said that, when she and I were dating exclusively back in the mid 80s, there was one night where she and her girlfriend/roommate went out to a club and she admitted to me that she kissed another guy.
I didn't find out about it and later confront but rather she just confessed to me that she had done it about 4 days after it happened. I was taken a back a bit but didn't get particularly angry with her, if memory serves. I didn't break up with her or go all apechit on her about it, which I would certainly do if it happened now. I was a bit of a partier back then and just kind of shrugged it off as her having too much to drink and not thinking, which by the way, is exactly what she told me had occurred.
To give more specifics, she and her girlfriend were walking back to their car after the bar had closed and the two guys with them kissed them goodnight before they left. My W says that she didn't say much to the guy who kissed her goodnight in the hour or so that they had spent previous to being escorted to their car. My W said that she was only being polite and cordial because her girlfriend, who wasn't dating anybody, was interested in one of the two guys. Okay, that sounds plausible enough.
So anyway, my W told me that the guy kissed her and that she actually kissed him back for a few seconds before she realized what she was doing and promptly stopped. She told me that it was innocent enough and lasted all of 3 or 4 seconds. She was apologetic but not overly so, if I recall correctly, which I must say kind of perturbed me.
Now I've not spent a lot of time thinking about this in the past 28+ years but after reading this forum for the past few months, I do have some questions.
I've read here more than a few times that if a spouse admits to a kiss that it was likely sex and that if they admitted to more than a kiss that it likely meant sex multiple times and so forth.
Does that same logic apply to a confession? Particularly a confession where the other partner is more than likely never to find out. I have never known my W to stretch the truth but I honestly have no way of ever knowing if a kiss is all this was or could it have been something more. Could she have lied to me with a confession or was she being completely truthful, as I have determined it to be all of these years.
I certainly don't wish to become suspicious or create an issue where there otherwise shouldn't be (a needless circle jerk if you will) but reading this forum has opened my eyes to some things. I'd be curious what everyone's take is on something like this. When told this, did I likely get the truth or is it possible to confess to something much less than what may have happened? Do people commonly confess to less that what they did to assuage their guilt?
If you've had a similar experience or been told a similar story, what was your conclusion?
Thanks in advance.
Anyway, I have a question and felt like this forum, more than any other, could help. My W and I have been married for almost 29 years (most of them happily) and I have never suspected her of any infidelity. Having said that, when she and I were dating exclusively back in the mid 80s, there was one night where she and her girlfriend/roommate went out to a club and she admitted to me that she kissed another guy.
I didn't find out about it and later confront but rather she just confessed to me that she had done it about 4 days after it happened. I was taken a back a bit but didn't get particularly angry with her, if memory serves. I didn't break up with her or go all apechit on her about it, which I would certainly do if it happened now. I was a bit of a partier back then and just kind of shrugged it off as her having too much to drink and not thinking, which by the way, is exactly what she told me had occurred.
To give more specifics, she and her girlfriend were walking back to their car after the bar had closed and the two guys with them kissed them goodnight before they left. My W says that she didn't say much to the guy who kissed her goodnight in the hour or so that they had spent previous to being escorted to their car. My W said that she was only being polite and cordial because her girlfriend, who wasn't dating anybody, was interested in one of the two guys. Okay, that sounds plausible enough.
So anyway, my W told me that the guy kissed her and that she actually kissed him back for a few seconds before she realized what she was doing and promptly stopped. She told me that it was innocent enough and lasted all of 3 or 4 seconds. She was apologetic but not overly so, if I recall correctly, which I must say kind of perturbed me.
Now I've not spent a lot of time thinking about this in the past 28+ years but after reading this forum for the past few months, I do have some questions.
I've read here more than a few times that if a spouse admits to a kiss that it was likely sex and that if they admitted to more than a kiss that it likely meant sex multiple times and so forth.
Does that same logic apply to a confession? Particularly a confession where the other partner is more than likely never to find out. I have never known my W to stretch the truth but I honestly have no way of ever knowing if a kiss is all this was or could it have been something more. Could she have lied to me with a confession or was she being completely truthful, as I have determined it to be all of these years.
I certainly don't wish to become suspicious or create an issue where there otherwise shouldn't be (a needless circle jerk if you will) but reading this forum has opened my eyes to some things. I'd be curious what everyone's take is on something like this. When told this, did I likely get the truth or is it possible to confess to something much less than what may have happened? Do people commonly confess to less that what they did to assuage their guilt?
If you've had a similar experience or been told a similar story, what was your conclusion?
Thanks in advance.
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment